!! OMG, I can sympathize: Beaker meets the internet !!
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This totally moved me to tears. This is just like my life!
Okay, let the commenting begin!
(Via Vultureblog)
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posted by Bmad on Tuesday, February 9, 2010
permalink | category: Cute
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!! OMG, Here Comes the Judge: Andre Léon Talley !!
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Fashion week is just beginning here in New York, and already we're starting to hear geat news from the land of bulimic string beans and $25k t-shirts. Well, actually it's just Top Model news, and we all know that has nothing to do with "fashion" unless you count in-store appearances at Target, but whatever.
Tyra Banks has sent word down from her heavenly throne that Miss Jay is ceding his ANTM Judgeship to an even more flamboyant (and way more important) black man: Vogue's Andre Léon Talley. In fashion, one week you're in and the next week... oh, wait, that's a different show. But still applicable!
And yay, cause Miss Jay never quite lived up to his judgey potential if you ask me. He will go back to coaching the girls on the runway, where he always seemed better off anyway. Now if only we could get Janice Dickinson back and replace Tyra with Grace Jones, maybe this would be a show worth watching again.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the fantastic Mr. Talley, above is his (too-brief!) star turn from The September Issue.
(WWD)
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posted by Bmad on Tuesday, February 9, 2010
permalink | category: Faggy
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!! OMG, She's Money: Lady Gaga !!
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It's only yesterday that we reported the disturbing speculation might that disco heroine and gay marriage crusader Lady Gaga might be an evil agent of the Illuminati. And well, well, well! Today we find out that she's one step closer to world domination, now that she's got her face on the US Dollar! Well, sort of: artist Craig Gleason has started selling dollar bills emblazoned with the face of the future Empress of the Universe!
If you want one, the bills are $15 a pop. A few more of my favorites after the jump.
[[OMG there's more! READ THE REST]]
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posted by Bmad on Tuesday, February 9, 2010
permalink | category: Celebrated
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!! OMG, How Helpful: Yoga mats for Haiti! !!
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Just because your home has been completely destroyed doesn't mean you shouldn't be focusing on "opening up your hips!"
Also desperately needed: Toffuti Cuties, aromatherapy candles and NPR memberships!
Namaste!
(Via The Awl)
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posted by Bmad on Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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!! OMG, Hypnotize your weiner! !!
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Who knew that you could actually increase the size of your thing using ONLY YOUR MIND? No painful injections, weird pills, or bizarre massaging techniques. All you have to do is listen to a few MP3 files! I guess if you just hypnotize yourself into thinking you have a huge D, it will magically cooperate? That's what a comely hypnotist known as "Victoria" claims, anyway:
Yes it is true! The mind can dramatically affect the size of your penis, erect and flaccid. Most men experience an average of 1-2? increase in length and fuller girth. Listen to these CD's for 4-6 weeks and find out for yourself how to reach your potential. Many men report more control and greater sensation during the growth process. Guaranteed results! only $99.00 for all six sessions.
At first I was skeptical, but I was quickly won over thanks to these shockingly convincing testimonials:
"Victoria, I just wanted to let you know that even though I was very skeptical at first, I immediately noticed a small improvement right away (1/4 ") in the first couple weeks, which motivated me to keep listening. Over a six-week span I am now 1 1/2 inches bigger. I am ecstatic! I last longer. I feel enthusiastic. Victoria, your program is so easy, all I do is listen to your soothing voice everyday and I can literally feel the changes taking place in my penis while I'm listening." -Jason
"Victoria, You probably don't remember me, but I thought I'd write to thank you for your penis enlargement hypnosis CDs. At first, I had trouble (I couldn't induce a hypnotic state), and I didn't see results for a while. But eventually everything clicked, and I just had to write to report on my progress, which I feel is pretty amazing.
You were right. Thanks to you and your CDs, I'm now between a quarter and an eighth of inch of my goal of 9 inches erect, and by about 6-7/8 in girth (for an increase of about 1-3/4 inches in length and 1-1/8 in girth)"
Oh, also, there is $10m USD waiting for you in a Nigerian bank account! Obviously I don't endorse this completely fake-seeming technique, but if anyone who has used it wants to send me pictures of their giant, hynosis-enhanced penises, I will totally change my tune. (Maybe.)
(Here's the link if you're really desperate to waste a hundred bucks. Thanks to Linwood for the tip!)
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posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Retarded
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!! OMG, Karaoke Can Be Deadly !!
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The New York Times brings us a very important report today about the scourge of Karaoke-related murders that are sweeping the Phillipines. Whatever you do, don't sing Frank Sinatra!
GENERAL SANTOS, the Philippines -- After a day of barbering, Rodolfo Gregorio went to his neighborhood karaoke bar still smelling of talcum powder. Putting aside his glass of Red Horse Extra Strong beer, he grasped a microphone with a habitué's self-assuredness and briefly stilled the room with the Platters' "My Prayer."
...But Mr. Gregorio, 63, a witness to countless fistfights and occasional stabbings erupting from disputes over karaoke singing, did not dare choose one beloved classic: Frank Sinatra's version of "My Way."
"I used to like 'My Way,' but after all the trouble, I stopped singing it," he said. "You can get killed."
The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling "My Way" in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the "My Way Killings."
While this problem may be currently restricted to the Phillipines, I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the world quickly followed. I don't know about My Way in particular, but I've definitely been moved nearly to murder watching a bunch piss drunk frat idiots singing Don't Stop Believin'. And do not get me started on Sister Christian!
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posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Dangerous
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