from the very first minute of last night’s OC, when I was shocked to see the scene open on a bed, where Ryan and Marissa are feverishly making out! They just had their first kiss last week on the ferris wheel, and now this? Then the next day at school, Marissa calls Ryan her boyfriend and he is very confused, but also intrigued by the idea.
Cut to Marissa’s mom, Julie, who has suddenly turned over a new leaf, or so it seems. I could still detect a hint of evil behind her new, tousled hairstyle and more flattering makeup, but it could have been my imagination. No wait, it wasn’t! There she is
kissing Seth’s grandfather, who, only a few episodes ago, was dating a sexy blonde in her twenties! I guess he wanted to go for someone a little closer to his own age, even if Julie Cooper looks like jailbait herself. And as if it couldn’t get any more delightfully horrifying, Ryan sees the forbidden kiss and then he locks eyes with Julie, who gives him the most murderous expression ever seen on television.
And now they all have to go to the fancy charity party on the yacht together and pretend that everything is great. Marissa is hoping that her parents are getting back together based on their recent friendly behavior, but Ryan knows better. He doesn’t want to tell Marissa, but he eventually does and then she goes and publicly announces the secret affair in front of the whole party!
But where was sexy Seth Cohen while this was happening? He was being orally assaulted by Summer, Marissa’s best friend who he has had a thing for since he was in diapers. Too bad he went to the party with his friend Anna, who is much cooler and prettier than Summer, and who also is in love with him. Ever since he started hanging out with Anna all the time, Summer got a little jealous, and it culminates right there on the yacht when she kisses him and finally admits that she likes him too! He makes out with both of them next week, which is almost as exciting as next season when he turns out to be G-A-Y.
The true excitement of the episode was saved until the very end, when Marissa and Ryan have SEX, or we assume that they do. All we know is that they spend the night in a bed not sleeping. Of course nothing the teenagers do could ever be as raunchy as Kirsten’s disgusting sex talk with her husband. In regards to their upcoming date: “You’d better be home at 10:00 or I might have to start without you.” In response to his wife’s question of “What do you want to do now?”: “You.” Gross. There haven’t been parents this horny on TV since My So-Called Life, and at least those scenes were brief. I think that Peter Gallagher’s celebrity spawns more Sandy/Kirsten scenes, and thus more middle-aged pillowtalk than the average primetime drama. I do not approve. Let’s stick to the good stuff: Marissa’s repeated deflowering and Seth’s irresistable smile. That is why I watch this show.