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!! I barely escaped with my life !!

this weekend when Hurricane Jeanne descended upon Florida. I went down to help my grandma celebrate her birthday and also to get a beautiful tan (which I did, even though I was lying out under ominous, dark clouds) and I ended up leaving in a hurry for fear of being trapped there for days and missing work. Tan aside, the trip was worth it just to see my grandma’s latest decorating, which includes an entire addition to her house. It’s a “fun room,” as she says, and it’s filled with whimsical furniture and Erte drawings in expensive frames. Sitting on her new red leather sofa made me want to eat cheese and crackers, pet the cat, and throw a murder mystery dinner party.
On another note, did you hear about the new Paris Hilton sex tape scandal? OMG! I wonder if you get to see Nick Carter’s penis in this one. Hopefully his fat rolls don’t obscure it completely.

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    I think you should have thought up a better name. Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne are all pretty European and exotic. It almost makes you wish they would blow the roof off your house and submerge your whole city in raw sewage.

    Why are all these other hurricanes stealing my thunder???

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