As spring slowly warms into summer, there is usually a lot to anticipate, such as the beach, more parties, my birthday, and more imminently: many season finales. After Ian completely ruined the Survivor finale last week with his astonishing stupidity, all I wanted out of the world was for Kahlen to win Top Model and for Tana to win The Apprentice. They were really the obvious choices, despite most of America choosing Naima as their favorite week after week, and Tana being mean to her team during the Olympians challenge last week. Instead, Dullness of astounding proportions triumphed over Realness as Kendra (who always looks kind of blank and talks in sound bites) and Naima (whose entire identity is based around the fact that she DOES NOT do drugs anymore, though the damage is obviously done) grab victory and leave us sitting on the couch with half-chewed pizza growing cold in our mouths.
Do the producers think they are giving us what we want to see? Why was Jeff Probst choking us with spoon-fed, pre-packaged sentiment during the live Survivor finale? How is it possible that Kahlen, who is beautiful, down-to-earth, Real, and has nailed every single challenge and photo shoot, could lose to vacant, stubby, and mohawked Naima? Fortunately I am not the only one who feels betrayed, but I don’t know how many more times my heart can be broken. Hopefully the second season of Paradise Hotel will actually air this summer, and I can forget all about this ugly turn of events while watching Zack’s abs.
If you feel as frustrated as I, and would like to take a more proactive approach, target someone deserving of your scorn, such as not-gay American Idol host Ryan Seacrest, who inexplicably has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Blogger Assistant/Atlas has put forth a challenge to the American people: to make Seacrest’s star a little less shiny (with poop).