Forced to cancel her upcoming tour of her native Australia, poor Kylie Minogue is now preparing to enter the hospital following her recent breast cancer diagnosis. Intelligent minds around the world are racing: Is it possible that she could become any more skinny/beautiful during her stint of hospital food? Will a wig look as natural as Kylie’s own startlingly immobile coiffure? Will it come off while writhing in a close-up shot beside the pool, surrounded by flawless tan people humping the air? Will the scars make her Balenciaga hang funny?
We ponder these questions, and we mourn, pray, and overload her website with our good wishes, but there are some mean, mean women out there (like you, Eurotrash) who don’t feel that Kylie’s plasticine beaty and uncanny celebrity have earned her a special place in all our hearts. To those haters, I simply ask: Where Has All the Love Gone?