Dammit why did your dad have to screw it up for the whole family? I’m sure your mother and sister are so disappointed, and I could tell how much it hurt your 19-year-old ego… I feel for you, I really do. I am hurting almost as much as you are… I was waiting for you to traipse through the bayou in those baggy gym shorts, soaking them through so the fabric clings to your every bulge. I was waiting for you to get overheated during a challenge in a part of the world that is less temperate than Pennsylvania, thus necessitating the removal of your shirt. Maybe you have a cute post-adolescent patch of chest hair. Now we will never know. Sigh.
RELATED: Just what sort of twins does Brock prefer? Plus, the Bowling Moms weigh in.