One of the remarkable things about this season of Survivor is that all the boring, planted models have been voted off before all the real people. Usually they band together, and the sexy girls seduce the regular guys and they often make it to the merge and beyond. Not this time. In quick succession, Morgan, Brianna, and Brooke (who were they again? Did one of them have blonde hair?) were voted off, leaving only Blake, the man with the whitest teeth in the world, to carry the torch for the professional beauties.
In the picture above, he can be seen drinking a margarita before blabbing on endlessly about his fratboy exploits. Brian, the gay from New York who no one seems to realize is gay (except maybe Stephenie), became exasperated with Blake’s annoying personality and decided to exploit it by baiting him to talk so much about himself that he alienated the entire tribe. Brian then asked Blake’s former allies to turn on him, which was a risky move. At Tribal Council, Brian got a couple votes, but in the end, even Bobby Jon, who peed very close to Blake only a day before (in one of the hottest Survivor scenes far. I could almost hear that Bel Ami flute music playing.) voted off his hot but insufferable friend. It was nice knowing you Blake, but you really weren’t my type anyway. I could, however, watch Brandon hack through a big piece of rope any day of the week. Rowr.