Okay, so that isn’t really “news” per se. This is:
On Saturday during an Australian awards show, Crowe made jokes about throwing a telephone at anyone who took too long with their acceptance speech. Trying to amuse the crowd, he offered, “If there are any problems and you do get up here and go on too long, then ‘hello’ to my little friend.” (via Yeeeah!)
Now presumably he was holding a telephone when he said that and wasn’t referring to something else. The way he’s been looking lately, I hope he can still find his “little friend.”
As for making jokes about the time you assaulted someone in the service industry, maybe that’s one occasion when the increasingly popular “humble-celebrity-send-up-of-self” routine is not really appropriate.