I usually find the girls at Go Fug Yourself pretty amusing, if a little bit indiscriminating, but this time they have stepped over the line. Says Heather:
I’m developing a new theory: that Dolly Parton is an enterprise run almost identically to that of the Dread Pirate Roberts. So when the Dolly Parton we know grows weary and decides to retire, she identifies a replacement who will seamlessly merge into the life of Dolly Parton and carry on the Dolly Parton name and brand, as if nothing had ever happened. That way, Dolly is ageless and lives forever, and people will never have to know what a dark and woeful place the world would be without her and that hair, and the breasts that unwittingly prepared a nation to cope better with Anna Nicole Smith.
The aforementioned harebrained theory came to be after I saw a photo of a woman I believe is en route to becoming the new Dread Pirate Parton: Pamela Anderson.
Pamela Anderson is a funny, intelligent woman with humongous boobs and so is Dolly, but that is where the similarity ends. To suggest that anyone could take Dolly’s place in the world is blasphemous. She has created and is still creating a body of musical work larger and more original than most artists in the last thirty years. Plus Dolly is a role model for freaks everywhere, and she holds her head up high, always teaching tolerance and acceptance. It is going to be a truly sad day when she fades from the public eye.
As someone who makes fun of people constantly on my own blog, I know how hard it is to find fodder sometimes, but I find it completely inappropriate to belittle Dolly’s place in this world for the sake of a badly-pieced-together joke. I think Heather should apologize and pick her targets better in the future.