You might think that Trace Adkins is a douche just from this photo, but what you probably don’t know about him is that he has a hit single on country radio called “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” In case the title doesn’t tell you enough about the song, here is a sample lyric:
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
The good news for Trace is that even if he’s a songwriting dummy, he does know his good angle. Tyra taught him well.
My unlucky friend Gail encountered the song on a Virgin Mobile hold reel. I feel her pain:
I was on the phone today with my cell phone company trying to solve a stupid problem that did not deserve to have even one minute of my precious time spent dealing with it. To add insult to injury, I was subjected to an eardrum excoriating endurance test of “hold music of the damned” that included such aural tortures as the latest radio schlock by Fallout Boy and some piece of crap country song that is apparently called — I wish I was making this up — “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” from which I will most certainly never recover.