!! OMG, Do You Take VAGINA With Your Coffee? !!
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Who would have possibly guessed that something UNUSUAL was going on at the bikini coffee stand? Wait, bikini coffee stand? These exist! No, of course not-- are you an idiot?! Next time you see something that bills itself as a "bikini coffee stand," you should know that it's probably a secret brothel, and you can probably get a flash of ladyflower with your mocha latte!
According to HeraldNet, the bikini coffee stands of Everett, Washington have been under investigation for months due to complaints that the baristas were total hookers! Who would complain about this?
Investigators saw the women expose their crotches, lick whipped cream off their co-workers' private parts and pose naked for pictures inside the Grab-n-Go Espresso stand at 8015 Broadway, according to police reports obtained by The Herald on Wednesday.
Detectives also witnessed some of the women charging customers to touch their bare breasts and naked buttocks. Touching of that kind, for pay, falls under the city's definition of prostitution.
Well I'm sitting in a coffee shop as I type this, and not only is no one licking whipped cream off of my naked buttocks, no one's even flirting with me! Unfortunately, jock strap coffee stands don't seem to be as prevalent as the bikini ones.
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posted by Bmad on Friday, September 25, 2009
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