Are you curious what Palin babydaddy Levi Johnston has to say about Sarah Palin in his new Vanity Fair tell-all piece, Me and Mrs. Palin? Are you too stupid/lazy to actually read a whole article in that highfalutin, elitist magazine? (We only ask because we’ve been noticing a lot of hits to this blog from Wasilla lately! Just saying!)
Anyway, if you answered yes to the above questions, you’re in luck, because Alex Balk at The Awl has handily rewritten Johnston’s whole memoir using only clear, concise, one-syllable words. A sample:
Sarah’s not one to cry a lot but she sure did cry when we told her Bristol was knocked up. Sarah was mad since she had just said on TV that Bristol was not knocked up. I thought Todd was going to kick my ass but he just told me that Bristol and I would have to tie the knot quick. I got a ring from Zales.
Sarah had an idea that we should lie and not talk about how Bristol was knocked up. She and Todd would take the baby. She kept on us to do it but we told her no. It was not a shock, since Sarah had lied when she was knocked up with Trig.
See that? No-frills, no fanciness, and so simple even the most patriotic American non-elitist can easily understand it! Scamper on over to The Awl to read the whole thing.
PS I know you’re excited for next month when Levi poses nude for UNZIPPED. Don’t worry, I’m already warming up my scanner!