I am starting to feel like I should change my name to GRANDMA BMAD. Sometimes I turn on the TV and it’s like staring through a window to another dimension! WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE!? Now Lady Gaga I can get on board with, and I always did like those Flavor of Love ladies. I can’t say I exactly LIKE Lauren Conrad, but I do kind of think she’s the Mona Lisa of our generation, and that’s at least something. So it’s not like I’m driving a conestoga wagon or anything here. I’m just sometimes confused.
I know it’s so 2006 (or maybe 2003? Or maybe just so Washington Post?) to complain about people being “famous for being famous.” So I shan’t do that. But what about complaining about people being richer than Queen Elizabeth for having a big ass? What about being rich for being the family member of someone with a big ass? Can someone please explain the Kardashians to me? Page Six reports that they’re basically the wealthiest women this side of Oprah, and while I’m not sure why this should be surprising or newsworthy, I am super jealous!
A source said: “The Kardashian sisters are big business. Their mother, Kris, is a smart businesswoman and manages their deals. She knows how to make the most of these big announcements.
“She’s negotiating a magazine deal for Khloe’s wedding, around $250,000, another deal for Kourtney’s baby, and there will probably be yet another deal when Kim eventually gets back together with Reggie,” our insider said.
“Then there’s the product deals — they’ve already got the fashion line, now they’re branching out into perfume and beauty products.”
Why can’t I have mom Kardashian manage my business? Just today, following her genius business model, I could have gotten paid for crying in the shower, getting in a fight with the cat I’m sitting for, and almost missing the bus. Is the reason that I’m not getting paid for these things because I am not as beautiful as these women?
I’m not saying I’m such a prize or anything– and I’m also a total homosexual so maybe I just don’t understand their great allure– but I really don’t get why the Kardashian’s are so hot. Kim Kardashian herself kind of reminds me of those Looney Tunes cartoons where Bugs Bunny would dress up like a woman, (Except I guess with a bigger ass???) and
Chloe Khloe Kardashian looks like Hulk Hogan in a wig. I don’t even know who that other one is? (Oops, I just asked my little sister and I guess her name is KOURTNEY. I should have guessed it began with a K!)
So I promise never to ask this question again, because I really do feel like my mom complaining about rap music and The Simpsons, but if someone could enlighten me (OR paypal me $1mil USD) about why the Kardashians are so rich/successful that would actually be really great.
(Page Six – No Keeping Up With Their $$)