Of all the terrible things George W. Bush has inflicted on the United States (and the world!) I almost want to say that this tie and jacket combo could be the worst! Right? Okay, maybe not. But it’s pretty bad. He’s back!
That’s right: after spending the last year-ish in self-imposed exile, the disgusting pig known as the former president is finally taking his first steps back into the public eye. He’s decided that the most important thing he can do with his time is to mediate peace between the Israelis and Palestinians. Ooops, no. He’s decided it’s his moral imperative to raise awareness about global warming. Oh wait, not that either. He’s decided to use his name to help end the global AIDS crisis? Um, obvs not! In fact, he’s decided to become a shitty motivational speaker, raking in obscene amounts of money for giving stupid little speeches about nothing!
Yesterday was his first outing in this new role, speaking to 15,000 idiots in Texas at an event called GETMOTIVATED! Well, it’s easy to make fun of the stupid name, but if I was organizing a motivational speaking event, you know mine would include an exclamation point in the title too! I love those things!
Anyway, Mr. Bush had these words of wisdom to share with conference goers:
“I don’t see how you can be president without relying on the Almighty. I can tell you that one of the most amazing surprises of the presidency was the fact that people’s prayers affected me. I can’t prove it to you. But I can tell you some days were great, some days not so great. But every day was joyous.”
I’m glad it was joyous for him, because I remember parts of it being complete hell. I’m sure a lot of mothers of dead soldiers would agree! But don’t mind my opinion! I guess it’s just good for George Bush that he’s found gainful employment in these difficult economic times. I hope he keeps raking it in– we wouldn’t want him to turn into some welfare queen sponging off the state.