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!! OMG, He’s Single: God! !!

“You see Adam and God, and they’re hanging out, and they’re, you know, walking through the garden in the cool of day. And God would, BOOM, blast Adam with his love, and Adam would just, boom, “You know what? I love you!” back, and God would blast him again. And that was the original love affair. It was between God and Adam.”

No wonder God was so pissed about Adam and Steve!
(Everything Is Terrible)

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    This method of teaching God’s love may be a little unconventional, but if it reaches some people, why ridicule it?
    I would suggest, though, that the relationship between God and mankind (of whom Adam is the allegorical type) is and always has been more like that of father and son than of romantic lovers who might “date” in that sense.
    Romantic love between a man and a woman isn’t mutually exclusive with love of God; on the contrary God declared that “It is not good for man to be alone.” He provided woman (Eve) as man’s ideal helpmeet and life companion in order that they might be fruitful and fill the earth, creating physical bodies for God’s spiritual children (us) and nurturing them as only loving parents can do.

    It begs the question… Is God male or female?
    Someone will answer “shemale”.

    Ugh. I remember being in christian youth services and watching services on this same topic. Yarf.

    I wonder what it feels like to get blasted by god 😉


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