While those smart alecks at the Onion are “just kidding” as usual with their tips for making sure your son wears an appropriately macho Halloween costume, I weep for all the young prancers whose Halloweens really will be ruined if they’re forced to hide their lights under a bushel. This is not a joke! If there’s any day for a “sensitive” little boy to let his fag-flag fly it’s Halloween.
Luckily, I know that little sissies are nothing if not scrappy/resourceful. For all the youngsters reading this blog who are facing the prospect of a bleakly butch Halloween: chin up, don’t panic, and remember that with just a couple of oranges and your big sister’s bra, even the most staid costume can go from ho-hum to va-va-va-voom!
(If you get really desperate, I’m sure you already know that it’s possible to fashion a serviceable wig using just a pair of pinking shears and some colorful t-shirts.)
Now go out and get ’em, tigers! Don’t forget when trick-or-treating that you get more candy when you smile with your eyes.