Curious to know what your next poo will look like? Well who isn’t curious about the quality of their future bowel movements?! Now there’s a new iPhone application that will (supposedly) tell you. Either that or it’s just a gross joke— you can decide which.
All Stool Scanner Lite– the 29th most popular free iPhone application in the UK!– asks of you is that you press a finger from your “wiping hand” to the screen of your iPhone so it can take a stool sample. Oh, and then you press your face to the screen, for I don’t know what reason but it must be important!
The program then “analyzes” your “stool” and gives you a prediction as to your next dump. Firm or loose!? Dark chocolate or that weird yellowish color!? Stool Scanner Lite, the Magic 8 Ball of shit, has all the answers! You can even buy an upgrade which allows you to post your poop to Facebook. Classy!
(Gay tourism applications are still banned from the iPhone, though, so don’t even try.)