Soccer: it’s boring. Call me an American pig or an idiot or whatever– I don’t care. Soccer is boring as f*ck. I’m not going to argue about exactly the qualities that make it so ridiculous, because of course you know them already.
(And this is a big however!)
Soccer players are easily the hottest athletes in all of sports. While you get the occasional sexy quarterback in football, and baseball has been known to send a stud or two around the diamond, in general those sports favor giant slobs. Basketball players are too tall and weird-shaped for me. Soccer players, on the other hand are pure sex.
The problem is that I can’t actually be bothered to watch the game to actually figure out who the hottest ones are. Which is why I was thrilled to come across this handy cheat sheet of all the hot men of the World Cup, featuring at least one sex god from every single competing nation! Experience the pleasure of soccer without having to actually know anything about it! Enjoy!