!! OMG, Now We’re Talking: Crotchety, cane-waving senior citizens to be required to attend gay weddings !!

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CONCORD, NH–Less than two weeks after legalizing gay marriage in the state, New Hampshire legislators enacted a new law Tuesday making it mandatory for persons over the age of 60 to attend three same-sex weddings every year for the rest of their lives. “Beginning July 1, all senior citizens must publicly condone gay unions by RSVPing to the rainbow-colored invitation, putting on nice church clothes, and spending an afternoon celebrating the wedded bliss of two men or two women who like to have sex with each other,” bill H.B. 437 read in part. “Any grandparent who refuses to weep joyously when the grooms kiss may be subject to harsh penalties.” Gay marriage advocates are already protesting the new statute, which they say unlawfully forces homosexuals to have gross old people at their weddings.

While this law is a start, I don’t think it goes nearly far enough! I urge you to write your representatives urging them to bring live acts of man-on-man sodomy into kindergarten classrooms and to require Southern Baptist ministers to march in full leather-drag at Gay Pride parades. Enough with politics as usual! Let’s advance this homosexual agenda while we have the chance!
[Via The Onion]

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1 Comment on "OMG, Now We’re Talking: Crotchety, cane-waving senior citizens to be required to attend gay weddings"

  1. goddamnit bmad you owe me a latte and a new keyboard.
    frickin Andy Rooney.

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