Do you long for your normal lips to look like a giant, glistening swollen anus? I mean, I don’t, but judging by the pictures I see in US Weekly, there seem to be a lot of ladies who do. Lucky for them, there’s this new bicycle-pump type device that will scarily inflate your lips in just two minutes, while your terrified child watches on in horror!
Sometimes I’m really glad not to be a woman. Now where did I put my penis pump?
(Thanks to Chris J. for the tip)