A resident of St. Louis, MO will pay you $450 to whip out your paint brush and splatter on a canvas — given that you’re able to depict comedian Daniel Tosh being “lovingly nailed” by wrestler John Cena. The patron posted his/her (but probably his) request on Regretsy, assuring all potential candidates that the offer is “100% serious.” Like anyone would kid about such a serious artistic undertaking.
But you’ll have to send in concept sketches and work with rather specific requirements:
I want the painting to capture a moment mid-thrust (Cena 97% inside of Tosh), with them in the ‘spooning’ position. Cena’s left hand needs to be gently tugging Tosh’s small, hairless testicles and his right hand needs to be tightly choking Tosh’s throat…. A little bit of red from the squeeze stress on Tosh’s throat would be a nice touch. Cena’s testicles should be enormous and quite hirsute. A healthy amount of sweat on Tosh’s brow and the pleasure-pain evidence of man-love on his face are required.
Ready, set, sketch! You have until March 31.
(via WOW Report)