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When ex-Playboy bunny Shelley Darlingson [Ana Faris] said “The eyes are the nipples of the face”, she was simply implying that you should make them pop, not that you should take it literally and wear a face bra or start tweaking your irises when a cute boy takes your cotton t-shirt weave off your head.
She certainly did not mean, therefore, that the nipples are the eyes of the torso, because that’s a whole other something else, and then means that the belly button is the mouth of the torso and the MUFF IS THE GOATEE, and that one big long stubborn gross grey hair that grows straight out of the right side of your stomach is some sort of mustachio.
So wearing a facial bathing costume is then not the same as making your eyes pop with a touch of mascara, not at all, and neither is a green-slop makeout session, or wearing a coordinated scaly Land Before Time neon bathing cap under your weave. I think you need to re-watch ‘The House Bunny’, I think you missed the message there!
Cute chorus though!
[via stereogum]


 

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