I desperately need some advice from Casey because the other day I went out wearing VELOUR NIPPLE-CLAMPS and a rainbow fade muff-wig, with matching pants-on-head RAINBOW-FADE MUFF-WIG-FASHIONED-AS-HEAD-WIG [just so the carpet matched the curtains, duuuurrrrr] and I got little-to-no attention from any of the men I saw. I don’t get it.
Finally answering this season’s fashion trickle-down highstreet summer female faux pas the high-waisted cut-off jean-short, vehement fashion feminist Casey Jane Ellison shows us how to dress for guys [who look like baby birds]…pheewwwww.
Proving that simultaneous ‘loving’ and ‘liking’ is possible in a head-to-toe look, Casey shows us several guy-magnetic looks including a “brunch lunch crunch”-friendly look inspired by old Hollywood glam Youtube make-up tutorial genre, which just goes to show that even if you hate this look on you [or anybody else for that matter] you should just totes get down to the vintage shop and put it on, because if it pleases Mike Schrampowicz who’s “LOL cats will eat your
soul hole” then girl you are gonna GET YOUR HOLE EATEN and thus succeed in your ‘I-hate-it-he-loves-it-ultimately-hopefully-you’ll-be-taking-it-off-anyway fully formed flirty f*ckable lookable look’.
…and if all else fails, just pop on an easy breazy FUZZY FLESHTONES PIXEL TUBE DRESS and pulled down wicker sunshade-shadey-shades hat combo, this look is sure at least to draw attention…what sort of attention is totes questionable but all press is good press and a flesh-dress is a good flesh-dress…right ?!