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!! OMG, some holiday CHEESE: The opening scene from ‘Santa’s Slay (2005)’ !!

If you’re unfamiliar with the opening scene from 2005’s Santa’s Slay, GET FAMILIAR. This important piece of American cinema (shot in Alberta, Canada), that opens with a family celebrating Christmas (as portrayed by an all-Jewish cast) is perfect for too many reasons to count. According to the film’s Wikipedia:

Santa was the result of a virgin birth produced by Satan (just as Jesus was the result of a virgin birth produced by God- meaning that Santa is somewhat of an Antichrist). Christmas was “The Day of Slaying” for Santa until, in 1005 AD, an angel defeated Santa in a curling match and sentenced Santa to deliver presents on Christmas for 1000 years. This means that Santa is free to kill again in 2005.

We begin with a hot Kate Spade name-drop, and Fran Drescher in a role she was familiar with at the time — a woman with a gay husband, played by Mango Chris Kattan. Her real-life ex-husband of 18 years later came out as gay, but don’t worry — Fran is laughing these days! Not only did she beat cancer and write a New York Times Best-Seller, but she’s also dating the CREATOR OF EMAIL. GET IT, HONNAY!

90’s scream queen Rebecca Gayheart is also in this mess, and Santa is portrayed by none other than WWF wrestler Goldberg (as voiced by an 18 year old Lindsay Lohan after a big weekend.) Give yourself the gift of fine cheese and check out the opening scene from 2005’s Santa’s Slay below:

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