Eeeesh! 19-year-old Miranda Barbour of Pennsylvania just admitted to the killing of a man she located in a sex ad on Craigslist — under her murderous alter-ego Super Miranda! During an interview with The Daily Item, she also claimed she has killed just under around 100 ‘bad people’ from Alaska to North Carolina in the last 6 years as part of her involvement in joining a Satanic cult when she was only 13. How DEXTER of her! (They start so young nowadays!)
Anyhow — we can probably all rest easy tonight because even though Miranda‘s body’s saying “LET’S GO”, her heart is saying “NO”. She told investigators that she doesn’t want to get out of jail and that she would kill again if she were released, so we’re thinking they’re probably gonna throw away the key on this one.
This is all your fault, Alaska! Your weird, remote nether-regions always seem to find these lost souls and place them right into Satan’s warm lap! Example #1: Sarah Palin!