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!! OMG, stop callin’: Gaga’s illustrated ‘Telephone’ !!

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When Lady Gaga’s Jonas Akerlund-directed Telephone video premiered, the first shock wave was over the Beyonce‘s cameo in the Pussy Wagon. The second was over Gaga’s smoking cigarette sunglasses. And the third was over the duo killing EVERYBODY with poisoned diner food (remind me not to eat there).
But in hindsight, perhaps the most surprising aspect of the video was the lack of any actual telephones (aside from telephone hats and hairpieces, obvi) or storylines relating to the lyrics. Not that I’m complaining. I’m just sayin’.
So, for a more literal interpretation of the song, behold Andrew Kolb’s Telephone illustrations. See the rest of the pages are after the jump.

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!! OMG, the big penis in the sky: Klowdz.com !!

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Clouds, like Rorschach prints, show us what we want to see. Ducks. Hearts. Bunnies. Sail Boats. Or if you’re me, penises. Klowdz.com lets your imagination and your drawing skills run wild with any number of their cloud canvases. They give you a cloud. You give them a picture. My dinky rendering is above, but you can see far more well-crafted cloud drawings after the jump.

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!! OMG, erotic art alert: John Cena nailing Daniel Tosh !!

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A resident of St. Louis, MO will pay you $450 to whip out your paint brush and splatter on a canvas — given that you’re able to depict comedian Daniel Tosh being “lovingly nailed” by wrestler John Cena. The patron posted his/her (but probably his) request on Regretsy, assuring all potential candidates that the offer is “100% serious.” Like anyone would kid about such a serious artistic undertaking.
But you’ll have to send in concept sketches and work with rather specific requirements:

I want the painting to capture a moment mid-thrust (Cena 97% inside of Tosh), with them in the ‘spooning’ position. Cena’s left hand needs to be gently tugging Tosh’s small, hairless testicles and his right hand needs to be tightly choking Tosh’s throat…. A little bit of red from the squeeze stress on Tosh’s throat would be a nice touch. Cena’s testicles should be enormous and quite hirsute. A healthy amount of sweat on Tosh’s brow and the pleasure-pain evidence of man-love on his face are required.

Ready, set, sketch! You have until March 31.
(via WOW Report)

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