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!! OMG, Playgirl Alert: Jersey Shore’s Pauly D !!

What hath Levi Johnston wrought!? It seems that posing nude is now beside the point for wannabe celebutrash. Why actually show your penis when you can just talk about showing it? And who exemplifies famewhoring wannabe celebutrash better than the drunk oompa loompas of MTV’s Jersey Shore?
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Although I know we’re all praying for The Situation to find himself in a compromising one, we’ll just have to settle for Pauly D’s D. The tanned and gelled-up reality star– who has a tanning bed in his home, and at 27 is about five years past the expiration date to be a contestant on The Real World, by the way!– tells E! Online that he’d be totally willing to wave his pierced thing around for the Playgirl cameras.
Too bad Playgirl actually took a loss on the underwhelming Levi Johnston pictures. Are they going to be willing to pony up again for someone uglier, oranger, and even less famous?
( via Queerty)

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!! OMG gossip: Daniel Radcliffe gets naked on-screen !!

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Daniel Radcliffe will appear nude in the final Harry Potter film for those who haven’t already seen his junk [celebitchy]
Elizabeth Hasselbeck will attempt to string together at least one coherent thought criticizing Adam Lambert on The View [popeater]
Will Tori Spelling spend Christmas with her estranged mother Candy? [betty]
Ellen Degeneres pulls the plug on Real Housewife Kim Zolciak‘s musical performance [dlisted]
OMG who would blackmail John Stamos? [l.a. rag mag]
Iowa Senator Charles Grassley is part of a group promoting homosexual executions in Uganda [towleroad]
Britney Spears may soon be free from her daddy’s control [superficial]
Why hasn’t Tiger Woods shown his teeth in public since the incident? [yeeeah]
Rihanna wants to make gay assassin love to Megan Fox on-screen [gabby]
Susan Boyle has conquered the United States. Guess how many albums she’s sold? [potp]
Jared Leto has declared war on his band’s record label [socialite life]
OMG really fat man on an airplane! [kenneth]
Alex Pettyfer has a tattoo in his pubes [oh la la]
Heroes star Greg Gunberg makes fun of Chaz Bono on Twitter [bilerico]
OMG Jenny McCarthy in a Santa hat! [celebsmack]
Straight woman sells her right to marry on eBay in support of marriage equality [huffpo]

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!! OMG gossip: It’s the dress Tom Cruise wanted to wear !!

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Tom Cruise is living vicariously through Suri by dressing her up in a drag queen’s costume [more photos at dlisted]
Lindsay Lohan tries to channel Kate Moss for the new issue of Muse [socialite life]
Maybe she was trying to forget her sleepover with Jason Segel [allie]
Just how many mistresses did Tiger Woods have? [popeater]
OMG Brad Pitt is producing a new vampire movie! Isn’t that moment over yet? [insider]
Poor Cristiano Ronaldo got a yellow flag just for removing his shirt. Is that really a crime? [oh la la]
OMG Bachelor star Jesse Palmer naked threesome photo! [zack taylor]
Taylor Swift does T Magazine [l.a. rag mag]
ABC wants Adam Lambert back [betty]
Leighton Meester performs at the Kiss FM Jingle Ball [drunken stepfather, link NSFW]
OMG The NY Post ran a pro-gay-marriage cartoon! [kenneth]
David Huebner is the third openly gay man to be sworn as U.S. ambassador to a small, far away country that no one thinks much about [towleroad]
Russell Brand wants to have babies with Katy Perry. Like stat. [anything hollywood]
OMG vote for the best gay bar of 2009! [gaycities]

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!! OMG gossip: Who is living the gay version of ‘Pretty Woman’? !!

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Is Zachary Quinto dating a male escort? [dlisted]
Joseph Gordon-Levitt shows his manhood in a new shoot for GQ [socialite life]
Beyonce gets 10 Grammy nominations [betty]
OMG crazy Chinese CGI reenactment of Tiger Woods‘s wife chasing after his fleeing car with the golf club [tabloid prodigy]
Sienna Miller is hanging out at Jude Law‘s apartment [popbytes]
OMG Tiger Woods voicemail slow jam remix! [urlesque]
Oprah has welcomed Dr. Phil back into the fold [popeater]
OMG Meredith Baxter (the mom on Family Ties) has come out as a lesbian! [l.a. rag mag]
OMG new baby for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? [amy grindhouse]
Did a closeted NY State Senator help sink the marriage bill this week? [towleroad]
OMG almost-naked supermodels frolick in Rio! [oh la la]
“If God hates fags, why we are we so cute?” [kenneth]

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