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!! OMG, this owl is totes MOPTURNAL: Lightning and Mr Mopy are BFFs !!

Erm excuse me [?] that’s totally a dirty skanky mop there buddy, no offense but really, that ragedy old flopper, really?!
I love that this hand reared fella is called Lightning because he is NOT the quickest owl in the tree. Lightning befriended this mop-head at ‘Screech Owl Sanctuary’ in Newquay, Cornwall and as soon as Mr Mopy comes out Lightning pops his fluffy ass on top and rides around the floor humping and cleaning and nibbling Mopy’s natty bleached hair.

“As soon as our workers begin to mop the floor, he is out of his cage helping. He absolutely adores that mop. He’s got lots of cuddly toys, but that is his preferred plaything.” __sanctuary owner Carolyn Screech

[via metro]

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!! OMG, match making: Nancy & Donald’s lawfully wedded wardrobe !!

Gay couples run the risk of starting to become a little Genesis P. Orridge after being together for a while, they start dressing the same, their hair starts looking the same and in no time your matching camo-shorts, tiny dogs and baseball caps make you look more like brothers-from-other-mothers than boyfriends and that’s some sort of stay at home shit, because hon, that Peters Twins thing is a whole other closet case!
Nancy and Donald -plastic garden flamingo inventor- Featherstone, however, just blooming went for it, they didn’t even progress, they just flipping went there. They’ve been wearing matchy matchy homemade shirts and dresses for 35 years now and have four wardrobes of matching outfits organised by season and occasion.

“We once saw Dr Ruth, the TV psychiatrist, in a┬ádepartment store. She was making her way over to us – probably to comment on our matching coats and hats – but we eluded her. It’s one thing to get negative comments from strangers but quite another to have unwanted psychological suggestions.”

Follow the jump to see some flavourite [along with their permed poochie pal] paralleled print pairings…well isn’t that just the cutestest thing what ever did done?

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, “Nana Grab Bags gladly obliges”: ‘My Son the Dressmaker’ !!

This completely made my eyes leak, this had never happened ever, I believe they call it crying…all I know is when I read it my face got wet, and after I freaked out and ran to a mirror I discovered it was coming from my eyes, I honestly thought I’d pissed my face, so I phoned Health Line, and the lovely nurse lady person on the other end explained the crying to me…freaked me right the hell out for a bit though….pheww, crying, ok!
Not since Lohanthony have I got so excited about some toddler-in-tiara out-sassing this old queen:

My son cries as if he’s been assaulted when he gets a small splinter or scrapes his knee playing outside, but if he gets poked or scratched by pins while draping and sewing he doesn’t bat an eye.

..ok THAT is ferocious !!
C.J. is some sort of runway ready sassy baby, who is putting a grandma to good use making her pin and sew for his Lagerfeld drapery demands; better than leaving her at the kitchen table with a puzzle book and her hemorrhoid pillow.

Some of the fabric C.J. selected because “it’s shiny and sassy and drapey.”
This ribbon reminded C.J. of fairies and fairy tales and Barbie…C.J. and Nana started with Mock Smock fabric…C.J. paired it with pink glitter spandex leggings.

Bam!! Fashion Babies !!
You can read all about C.J.s cross-generational sweatshop of glamour over at Queerty’s ‘Raising My Rainbow’, where GLAM AND GRAN converge to make fashion dreams a “sassy drapey” reality.

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!! OMG, please ring for catsistance: cat rings bell for room service !!

What do you think this is, Fawlty Towers[?] stop ringing that bell you’ll drive Basil bonkers !
I hope whosoever taught dainty princess paw-lina this ting-for-a-treat tricksicle is going just as nuts as Basil does in the episode where the old ladies keep mistakenly thinking it’s fire drill time.
[via laughingsquid]

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!! OMG, giving some Lip: Jeremy Allen White for Bullett !!

The other week we showed you ‘Shameless’ actor Jeremy Allen White’s bottty-bum in his ‘caught-you-scrubbing-your-SCROTAL-scene’ -scene, but I realise that although I would love to snuggle with said ass, they are not the only lips he’s wagging.
White spoke to Bullett [HERE] about the beard rash he developed from kissing Liev Schreiber, holding an [onscreen] dj at gunpoint, and -if given a choice- always opting to flash his back crack as oppose to his front trunk:

“The directors and writers have asked a lot of us–you know, “You’re going to have to show something. You can show your dick or you can show your ass.” The answer is usually ass. I will be sticking to the ass shot as long as I have control.”

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