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!! OMG, How Abundant: Sister Wives !!

What the heck! Stretch out in those sacred undies and call your harem down to the teevee room, because Sister Wives is coming! These Real Housewives of Utah are more elegant than Mrs. the Countess Luann De Lesseps, crazier than Danielle Staub and can whip up a nice, healthy Jell-O salad faster than Bethenny Frankel can blink her strangely immobile eyes. And they’re all married– to each other!
This heartwarming show about the wonderful world of straight polygamy premieres on TLC (which stands for The Little People and Religious Freak Channel) on the 26th.

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!! OMG, How Outrageous: Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion preview !!

Okay, I don’t even really like the Real Housewives of New Jersey and I’m excited for their “reunion” episode after watching this teaser. Welfare Queen Theresa seems to assault Andy Cohen, Caroline “Marlon Brando in a Red Wig” Manzo completely loses her shit and Danielle Staub seems to be carrying a wig of special significance in her purse. Also maybe I’m misinterpreting this, but does she also imply a lesbionic relationship with The Stupidest Housewive Jacqueline? Monday can’t come soon enough!
[via DListed]

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!! OMG, How Hellish: World’s worst traffic jam hits china !!

And I thought my trip to the beach in a packed minivan with my parents, sisters, uncle and cousin was bad. At least we weren’t going to the beach in China!

“A massive traffic jam in north China that stretches for dozens of miles and hit its 10-day mark on Tuesday stems from road construction in Beijing that won’t be finished until the middle of next month, an official said…. Some drivers have been stuck in the jam for five days, China Central Television reported Tuesday. But Zhang said he wasn’t sure when the situation along the Beijing-Zhangjiakou highway would return to normal.”

[NPR via The Awl]

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!! OMG, How elaborate: Men’s pubic hair reaches topiary heights !!

The men’s pubic hair crisis is getting worse by the day! Now the intrepid reporters at Salon bring us the news that, in addition to the alarming trend among teeny-peened straight men of going totally bare down there, men are also insisting on sculpting their virile bushes into stupid shapes. Says aesthetician Jane Pham:

“Men tend to want the oddest pubic hair shaping,” she said. “One guy asked me for a blue whale design. Another wanted me to shave the words ‘Campbell Soup’ into his pubes, because his girlfriend liked Campbell Soup. I was like, ‘No way, dude!'”

Personally, I’ve long fantasized about shaving my pubes into the shape of a turkey, or a dollar sign. But the Campbell’s Soup logo? That’s going too far!

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!! OMG Boycott: Target Supports Right-Wing Lunatic !!

In addition to having a truly terrible haircut, Minnesota Gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer is also a teabagging lunatic: he opposes same-sex marriage, authored a bill claiming Minnesotans have “no constitutional right to abortion” and– here’s the real crazy part– favors a constitutional amendment declaring Minnesotans “sovereign individuals” who will only follow federal laws if they damn well please. In other words, secession! (Kinda.)
Obviously, Sarah Palin <3s him.
None of this is too surprising; basically every election currently running in the US features this kind of anti-gay, anti-woman candidate who’s just one step away from calling for civil war.
What is a surprise, however, is the fact that Target– a constant fixture at the gay pride parade!– has donated $150k (k stands for thousand!) to a PAC called Minnesota Forward, which funds Emmer’s campaign. People are mad about this, including the nice granny in the video below:

Target has responded to protests with the following mealy-mouthed letter:

Target has long believed that engaging in civic activities is an important and necessary element of operating a national retail business. What’s more important than any one candidate’s stance on a particular issue is how we nurture thoughtful, long-term growth in the state of Minnesota.

Our support of causes and candidates is based strictly on issues that affect our retail and business objectives. To continue to grow and create jobs and opportunity in our home state, we believe it is imperative to be engaged in public policy and the political process. That is why we are members of organizations like the Minnesota Business Partnership, the Chamber of Commerce and many others. And that is why we decided to contribute to MN Forward.

MN Forward’s objective is to elect candidates from both parties who will make job creation and economic growth a top priority. We operate best when working collaboratively with legislators on both sides of the aisle. In fact, if you look at our Federal PAC contributions year to date, you will see that they are very balanced between Republicans and Democrats. For more information please visit www.target.com/company, and view the Civic Activity page.

Target has a large stake in Minnesota’s future, which is why it is so important to be able to provide jobs, serve guests, support communities and deliver on our commitment to shareholders. As an international business that is proud to call Minnesota home, it is critical that we have a business environment that allows us to be competitive. Our guests, team members, communities and shareholders depend on Target to remain competitive.

Thanks for taking the time to share your feedback.


Jennifer Hanson
Target Executive Offices

While it’s true that Target is a private corporation and according to the Supreme Court can give money to whoever it wants, and while it’s also true that we can’t expect corporations to do have any principles beyond the safeguarding of their precious $$, we can show them that it’s actually a poor business choice to give money to a crazy homophobe– by not shopping at Target.
[Via Gawker]

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