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!! OMG, How Hazardous: The Perils of Paula Deen !!

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Paula Deen sure does lead a dangerous and exciting life! Between all that deep frying and artery-clogging pig-outtery it’s a miracle she hasn’t been harmed in a food-related accident already. But who would have guessed that the tool of her injury would be a flying ham? Let’s just hope this isn’t part of a trend. When Sandra Lee gets conked over the head with a supermarket birthday cake covered in canned chili, it’s time to set up a relief drive!
Watch the video here.

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!! OMG, How Unsportsladylike: The New Mexico Lobos !!


Poor Mormons! First their businesses are boycotted by nasty gays, and now their soccer-playing daughters are getting attacked on the field by violent Gentile witches!
Watch here as New Mexican Lobo Elizabeth Lampert punches, kicks, and ponytail-pulls her team’s way to utter defeat against the virginal young flowers of BYU.
(Thanks to Johnny for the tip)

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!! OMG, How Cold-hearted: Dear Abby !!

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The story of Dear Abby has always been a sick and twisted one– full of drama, corruption and family betrayal. Now things are getting crazier: Jeanne Phillips, the current Dear Abby, is apparently cheating her mother, the original Dear Abby, out of her well-earned advice riches. This is the biggest scandal since Brooke Astor had to sleep on that pee couch! According to the NY Post:

The Alzheimer’s-afflicted creator of “Dear Abby” is being cheated out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by her daughter, her son says.

Pauline Phillips, 91, turned her celebrated advice column over to her daughter, Jeanne, in 1995, when the disease was detected.

Jeanne’s company agreed to pay Pauline Phillips — a k a Abigail Van Buren — a $350,000-a-year salary for the rest of her life, said Edward Phillips, Pauline’s son.

After paying for 10 years, the company “suddenly and inexplicably” stopped, Edward said.

He claims in Los Angeles Superior Court that Jeanne’s company now owes $700,000 in payments.

Advice-givers, advise thyselves! If only Ann Landers wasn’t dead I’m sure she could come up with a solution to this problem.
(NY Post)

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