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!! OMG, how deadly: Ice Skating Bears !!

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If we learned anything from the Tonya Harding Incident of ’94, it’s never trust anything on skates. Of course, that applies double to bears! Whether it’s of the Polar, Grizzly, or Andrew Sullivan variety, everyone knows that a bear on ice skates is hell-of f*cking dangerous! It will f*ck you up!
That’s why my cocoa was chilled all the way to the marshmallows on Friday when I spotted the following headling on CNN.com: Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand! According to the news report:

A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.

In the incident, which happened Thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.

“The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the program, Bears on Ice,” Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told reporters.

No word on whether the bear was wearing a tutu or other costume, but in any case, beware! Bears are really good at disguises, and they are excellent skaters. If you’re walking down the street and you see something large, brown and furry triple-axeling in your direction, shoot to kill!
(Read the full report here. Thanks to Nikolai for the tip.)

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!! OMG, Balloon Boy !!


BREAKING! BREAKING! So I’m on the bus right now and am clearly missing out on the story of the century, but I guess all of you are probably glued to your teevees right now fretting over Balloon Boy’s wild ride! (UPDATE: I guess he just came down? UPDATE: But maybe he’s not in the balloon???)
Anyway, I’ve just been informed that Balloon Boy and his family recently were featured on WIFE SWAP. I can’t even watch this video because I have no headphones, but OMG’s Wife Swap Correspondent Kyle reports:

“Oh my god THIS FAMILY!??!?!?!
so nuts!
the STORM CHASERSSSSSS with the ASIAN WIFE!”

Thanks to Kyle for his astute analysis, and to Brian for alerting me to Balloon Boy’s reality teevee fame. Let’s all pray for his speedy return to earth.

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!! OMG, What a Crazy Dentist! !!


Who knew that Lady Gaga had time to be both a marcher for gay rights and the leader of the “Birther” movement?
But seriously, can I tell you how much I love birther beauty Orly Taitz? Between her fabulous eye-makeup, her kicky Moldavian accent— (isn’t Moldavia that country where everyone from Dynasty was killed?)– and an amazing wig that seems to hover several inches above her head at all times, this woman has gay icon written all over her. Now she’s going above and beyond the call of gay duty by going head to head with Joy Behar. Could Orly be the Liza Minelli of right wing insane people? I think maybe! Someone give this woman a GLAAD award for lifetime fabulousness!

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