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!! OMG, Rejoice: Amanda Woodward Returns to Melrose Place !!


Homosexuals around the world are dancing in the streets at the news that Her Majesty Heather Locklear is returning to the crappy new Melrose Place as bitch goddess Amanda Woodward! I’m not sure anything can save this show from lame-o yawnsiness, but another HANDYMAN INCIDENT like in the clip above would be a great start.
(Via The Awl)

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!! OMG, unbelievable: Homeless display at Barneys !!

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During my most recent visit to New York, I stopped by Barneys New York for a little shopping, and upon stepping out of the elevator at the Coop floor, this is what faced me: Mannequins with sad clown faces dressed up as homeless people (albeit in expensive duds).
The scene is so accurate down to the last detail that I did a triple take before uncontrollably saying something out loud about how f*cked up it is. We offend people every day here at !! omg blog !! but I think Barneys has us beat with this store display. Which part of “Taste. Luxury. Humor.” is this?

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!! OMG, another monster! !!

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Ahhhh! Just when you thought we had rid the world of its monsters, a scary, hairless creature has appeared crawling from a cave in Panama. Upon spotting the poor little guy, a bunch of teenage hoodlums immediately beat him to death. They must have heard him whispering to himself about “my precious” and flipped out. But still — f*cked up, right?
I’m putting the picture after the jump for those of you with squeamish tendencies, cause it IS kind of gross. But because I know my readers all too well I must remind you not to get your hopes up. The monster does NOT flash his peen.http://gawker.com/5361602/gollum-found-dead-in-panama

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, How Fake! Turkish “Big Brother” !!

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While everyone else was freaking out about the New York Times Afghanistan hostage situation, another more glamorous hostage crisis was going on in an even funner part of the Muslim world! Nine Turkish ladies were recently rescued from imprisonment in the above lavish villa in Istanbul to which they were lured with empty promises of reality teevee stardom. Upon their arrival at their paradisaical prison, they were met with neither fame nor a million dollar prize, but instead were held for months and forced to wear bikinis and dance and fight by the pool while their nudie pictures were sold on the internet. Thankfully they were otherwise unmolested, but this story is really freaking me out because it’s totally the type of thing that could happen to me so easily. If someone tells me I’m going to be on Big Brother, I’m showing up– no questions asked.
(FYI, Frank and I have now been rejected by Amazing Race TWICE. These are the homos they chose instead. Whatever! We love to wear bikinis and fight by the pool, so what’s the problem?)
The full story of these ladies’ rescue from fake reality hell is at The Guardian, via The Awl.

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!! OMG, how twisted: Hateful pastor !!


Arizona pastor Steven Anderson says “I hope that God strikes Obama with brain cancer so he can die like Ted Kennedy. You know, and I hope it happens today.”
His church has 30 gun-wielding parishioners who feel the same. (via Think Progress)

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