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!! OMG, an apple to play keeps the Teardrops away: J.Views’ fruit&veg rendition !!


Erm excuse me J.Views I was totally going to make dinner with that shit, now you’ve BRUISED MY EGGPLANTS and mushed my carrots on that turntable…What the crap are you doing with my kiwi, I was going to have that for breakfast you turd!?
OMG, at 1.00 when he’s TEASING THE ELECTRONODAL BUNCH’O’GRAPES? I’m getting all sorts of hemorrhoid treatment visuals going on…but I do love Massive Attack.
I like the harpsichord strawberries all in a pillowed-row, waiting patiently.
[via booooooom]

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!! OMG, MATANGI IN ACTION: New M.I.A. mixtape for KENZO !!

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Late last week we took you on a safari to Kenzo’s jungley wungley…well she was Missing In Action, but we found Maya hiding in a jungle-berry bush, trying to make her delayed new album sound “less positive” or some Interscope bullshite like that.

Named after her birth-name and the Hindu Tantric Goddess who governs speech, music, knowledge and the arts, Matangi the mixtape is all BANGRA-MAZING and offers a preview of what’s on offer for her album -of the same name- now due out in April.
Is that an extinct lady-Mammoth tooting her trunk at 2.40? I can’t wait to see what other animals she sampled whilst hiding in that Interscope berry-bush…a dodo…a hephalump…a CRUMPasaurus ?!
[thanks Burrr!]

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!! OMG, KNOCK-OUT! : Father Tiger’s ‘Head Hung Low’ !!


The shot at 0.22 proves that at least one of these guy’s heads is hung low!
There is nothing hotter than a guy who loves to stuff his face…I mean I’ll watch the weightlifting verses, as long as I get the gob-gobbling choruses as well. Everybody in this video is hot, apart from the girl, but her double-ribbon skills are severe so we’ll let her stay.
‘Head Hung Low’ is Father Tiger’s new single off their ‘Winter Solstice EP’, and you can download it for free HERE.
Ribbon
Ribbon
Go Go GO!
[via timeout]

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!! OMG, gobble gobble this turkey: turkey cake !!

I’ve seen a few turkey-cakes over the years but this one takes the gravey-sopping-biscuit [scone for you Brits].
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If like me you like extra turkey skin with your meat and also happen to be that greedy bitch who loves to lick the icing bowl, this is your kind of CAKE CAKE CAKE!
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[via WOW]

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!! OMG, raw chicken dearest?: David Bowie’s ‘The Stars (Are Out Tonight)’ !!


The perfect androgynous coupling; Bowie is like a female musical version of Tilda and Tilda is like an actorly male version of David.
The second video to come out of Bowie’s long-awaited march album ‘The Next’, ‘The Stars (Are Out Tonight)’ features Bowie and Swinton as a BOUJIE PASTEL-CLAD COUPLE being stalked by their younger female self who kind of looks like David and Tilda’s lovechild.
Oh good lord; then Tilda uses her electric carving knife implement to slice up the chicken, but was so distracted all afternoon doing her new Edward Scissor-Hands [chicken-carver-version] up-doo that she forgot to turn the oven on..erm that chicken looks a little pink inside…maybe it needs a few more minutes Tilda dearest?!
[via dejeunesgensmodernes]

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