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!! OMG, Carrie Prejean Masturbates For Jesus !!

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Every time I turn around, Mean Queen Carrie Prejean is doing something to make me love her against my better judgment. You probably heard last week about her sex tape, but this week it has been revealed that there are actually EIGHT of them. That’s right– America’s number one crusader against Opposite Marriage may hate the gays who do her hair and help her glue her bathing suit to her ass, but she has no problem with displaying her most intimate moments with her own cooter for all the world– in eight separate tapes. How fabulous!
But wait just a moment here: Carrie may not be the scarlet woman people are making her out to be. If we look to her courageous autobiography we can see that Queen Prejean– a noted theologian in addition to pageantess and demagogue– has a sound religious basis for her on-camera antics, arguing that “God gave us our bodies, and it’s perfectly right that we use them in ways where we can give glory to God.”
Who could disagree?
(Radar)

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!! OMG He’s Naked (Somewhere But Not Here): Levi Johnston !!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
Word comes from Gawker that Levi Johnston (whose butt I came thisclose to touching last night, long story!) has officially just now gotten nude for Playgirl’s camera. The waiting is almost over! We don’t have the pictures yet, but rest assured we are all over the story and ready to post pictures of Mr. Johnston’s reportedly-smooth butt and girthy (just guessing) manparts as soon as we can get our hands on them.
Daniel Nardicio, if you’re reading this, we reward leaks handsomely at OMG Blog.
Levi’s Johnston Watch: He Is Naked With a Hockey Stick – Gawker

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!! OMG, How Crafty: Crocheted Penis !!

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Is it a change purse? Is it a cell phone holder? Or does it have no function whatsoever? I don’t really care, I just know I want this crocheted penis belt accessory thingy. Where can I buy one?
(I’m sure the fact that it appears to be cut will incite a firestorm of controversy amongst the OMG commenters as usual.)
(Image source, thanks to Rick for the tip.)

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