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!! OMG, Do You Take VAGINA With Your Coffee? !!

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Who would have possibly guessed that something UNUSUAL was going on at the bikini coffee stand? Wait, bikini coffee stand? These exist! No, of course not– are you an idiot?! Next time you see something that bills itself as a “bikini coffee stand,” you should know that it’s probably a secret brothel, and you can probably get a flash of ladyflower with your mocha latte!
According to HeraldNet, the bikini coffee stands of Everett, Washington have been under investigation for months due to complaints that the baristas were total hookers! Who would complain about this?

Investigators saw the women expose their crotches, lick whipped cream off their co-workers’ private parts and pose naked for pictures inside the Grab-n-Go Espresso stand at 8015 Broadway, according to police reports obtained by The Herald on Wednesday.

Detectives also witnessed some of the women charging customers to touch their bare breasts and naked buttocks. Touching of that kind, for pay, falls under the city’s definition of prostitution.

Well I’m sitting in a coffee shop as I type this, and not only is no one licking whipped cream off of my naked buttocks, no one’s even flirting with me! Unfortunately, jock strap coffee stands don’t seem to be as prevalent as the bikini ones.
(From HeraldNet via Gawker)

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!! OMG, How Provocative: Cruelty Doesn’t Fly !!

What would we do without PETA? If it weren’t for the animal rights organization and their pointlessly provocative tactics, we would never get to see great ads like this one, CRUELTY DOESN’T FLY, in which Pammy Anderson plays a very eccentric TSA employee who forcibly strips animal products from travelers’ bodies before allowing them through her gates.
Watch for a brief glimpse of ass from WORK OUT’S Greg Plitt, toward the end. I don’t know if this is safe for work or not. I’m putting it after the jump just to be on the safe side, but don’t get too excited.

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, how desperate: Scat Date !!

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Someone at the University of Michigan really needs a date:

to the guy who took a dump on me – m4m – 23 (U of M)

Hey a couple nights ago I passed out at a party and ended up with a huge dump all over my face. It was pretty gross; however, my friend Shannon showed me your picture. What a tall dark and handsome stud! I would definitely be interested in coffee or a movie… leave the bowl movements behind! (And tell me your full name so I know this is actually you)

But I’m confused. Was the guy tall dark and handsome, or was it the BM?
Thanks to Nicholas for the tip!

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!! OMG, how sexy: Monkeys Safari !!


This car full of visitors at the African Lion Safari (or whatever equivalent safari-themed park they were visiting) obviously didn’t expect the monkey porno that unfurled before their eyes. I knew what was coming but it still made me laugh because I’m immature and hilarious. I guess getting nailed on the hood of a car is as hot for monkeys as it is for me.
Scooped from Krissy.

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