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!! OMG, “It’s all straight people at The Abbey.” “I don’t care.” !!


me: that is AMAZING
John: i laaaaughed last night. all of it = true. i had my first overpriced cosmo there in 2004. first and only
me: i haven’t been…but now i never will. the abbey makes me think of that macaulay culkin movie…which is set in nyc, so nvm
John: i have no idea what you’re talking about
me: it’s a movie about that club kid who killed someone or some shit
John: oh right – party monster, which i’ve never seen. and i’m surprised i know the title
me: when you know random things like that, i’m not surprised

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!! OMG, erotic art alert: John Cena nailing Daniel Tosh !!

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A resident of St. Louis, MO will pay you $450 to whip out your paint brush and splatter on a canvas — given that you’re able to depict comedian Daniel Tosh being “lovingly nailed” by wrestler John Cena. The patron posted his/her (but probably his) request on Regretsy, assuring all potential candidates that the offer is “100% serious.” Like anyone would kid about such a serious artistic undertaking.
But you’ll have to send in concept sketches and work with rather specific requirements:

I want the painting to capture a moment mid-thrust (Cena 97% inside of Tosh), with them in the ‘spooning’ position. Cena’s left hand needs to be gently tugging Tosh’s small, hairless testicles and his right hand needs to be tightly choking Tosh’s throat…. A little bit of red from the squeeze stress on Tosh’s throat would be a nice touch. Cena’s testicles should be enormous and quite hirsute. A healthy amount of sweat on Tosh’s brow and the pleasure-pain evidence of man-love on his face are required.

Ready, set, sketch! You have until March 31.
(via WOW Report)

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!! OMG, how well-executed: The Simpsons XXX !!

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There have been a variety of adult movies parodying The Simpsons, but the newest one from director Lee Roy Myers really nails the characterizations, and especially the voices! That woman playing Marge should win an Oscar, or an AVN, or whatever straight adult film stars win.
Check out the mostly SFW trailer after the jump!

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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