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!! OMG, What the F*shion? EDGISODE 2: ‘Edgy F*shion Is A Thing’ !!


So let’s review Casey Jane Ellison‘s TAARP TAAPS on how to look “eggy”:
1) Putting fingers up; this can be pinky and index, or middle and index, it has to be index, it can only be two [as long as it’s not thumb and index, this would be super ‘loser-sign’ which is so very out-of-fashion, it’s basically the finger version of saying “whaaazaaaap”.
2) A lip color that looks like you drank the Kool Aid or sucked on a Chupa-Chups, or you just dorrrrn’t carrrrrrr !
3) Over accessorizing; mainly spike-studs, just shite-loads of them, you can never have enough, and the best pairing is spike-studs with spike studs with SNARL-FACE and spike studs…feel free to overdo this one, because spike studs are IN NO WAY the cliché appliqué that anyone who is not edgy wears to give the impression they are definitely not edgy or punk or alternative or dirty and rough but whatever.
4) Lastly…”haaarts”, this -btw- is “hats” for lazy gaarls who can barely be bothered finishing their words, pronouncing consonants, let alone finishing whole sentences.
…and remember, the most edgy thing you can do is like spend VENTI-LOADS OF CAARSH just not even bothering…right ?! Nonchalance is the new punk !!

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!! OMG, Bassist Hound: GUITARD DOGS !!

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With titles like ““Whippet, Whippet good” featuring Devo [above] and “Muttford and Sons ” [featuring Mumford & Sons’ guitarist Ted Dwane], BASSDOGS is our new favorite [for 12 seconds] Tumblr.
If you didn’t already think that the Chihuahuaist guitarhuaist’s gurn made them look bizarre enough, click below to see how popping a pooch in place of their beloved key-tar gives them that look of diarrhea-fear which -believe me- I see on a weekly bassist, girl I just look in my iphone mirror after getting fingered and plucked all morn’ !

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, taking out the trailer trash: scubear dumpster diving !!


We are no strangers here at omgblog to the rumors that ‘the little skank that shouldn’t’ that bitch-botch mega whore Barbie has been totes down on her luck recently…first it was reported that she’s been living in a two-tone garbage receptacle, then she became so starved of attention and out of her mind that she started just plain prancing around naked, to the point where all her designer -no longer- friends decided to whip some outfits up for her so she wasn’t going STARK-IN-THE-PARK .
Well she’s also been hanging around with the wrong crowd; reportedly Meow Mix-snatching raccoons, hiphop has-been Roland the Rat, and apparently she owes a lot of money to a dealer by the name of ‘Papa Bear’, who sent around one of his heavies to rough her up last night:
Caught on camera, this Hairy Mary was seen harassing and cajoling Little B at her front door [a dumpster lid], threatening that he wanted to “chew her plastic ass up” and wear her new shrunken designer Selfridges outfits as paw-mittens !
If that wasn’t effed up enough, he then decided to haul that dreamsicle trailer right on out of there with Barbiepoops all inside and screaming her ass off ! There’s a rumor that Barbie’s trash trailer was renamed The Barbie Barge Boat after being seen floating along the river this morning, with Barbie herself manning ship, screeching “ahoy me-harties” and sloshing back a mickey of cheap spiced rum high out of her Barbie brains !
Looks like Jean-Paul Gaultier is going to have to step in now to design her some naughty nautical looks, and try getting that plastic Lohansbeen in ship-shape before she goes all Goldie Hawn Overboard !
[via papermag]

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!! OMG, off-the-shoulder = vegan since birth: V-Files’ ‘What The F*shion?’ !!


In the first of V-files’ new series “What the F*shion?”, Casey Jane Ellison takes us through her baaarst “LA-esque-ish” looks of kankle “parrnts”, off-the-shoulder [equals vegan-since-birth] crop tops and pixelated jegging mid-rift after effects.
It must be -like- so hard for huuuur because she totally has -like- deformed shoulders from being too fashionable-y and Tumblr-y to bother with posture [ie. I’m a coat hanger, durrrrr] and she -like- totally has a melt-down over her competing owl and bow dilemma but then she speed-dials God so don’t judge.
My personal favorite La-esque-ish accessories to go with these looks here ?! :
VALLEY GIRL ‘UPTALK’ EYE-LINER ?!
A LARYNX SANDWICH
EYE ROLL CLUTCH [for a pop of colRRRR] and
TYRANNOSAURUS LAX MINI TEXTING/TWEETING CLAW-LIMBS !
[and a “totes” tote bag for a more relaxed look]
[via papermag]

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!! OMG, TABLE TOPOLOGY: Clare Strand’s ‘Skirts’ !!

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Having posted 2 NSFWs in a row, I thought it best to post something extremely safe for work, because you have to look at something to procrastinate plugging cleaning product sales data into an excel form 8 hours a day.
UK based artist Clare Strand‘s black and white photo series ‘Skirts’ photo-categorizes hired table skirts in a council-owned ballroom. These photos made me laugh so hard I nearly soiled my own skirt.
Anothermag had a chatter natter with Strand about Twin Peaks, table topology and the complex navigation of absurdity. You can also see the remainder of the pleated tabular photo series after the jump.

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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