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!! OMG, #SISTERHOODRATS: ‘Gurl’ by the bros of Furry Creek !!


Just when you thought you’d waxed that Furry Creek and gotten that Sisi [making-me-feel-a-bit] Sickles out from the back of your throat those rogue hairs have come poking through at the worst moment, ie. as soon as you are ‘dropping trou’…how embarassing.
The rather unsportsmanlike former sportsmen, Chad Chad and Guy Gagnier are taking loosing the competition badly so have barged back into the sour-lime-light to convince Freddy that he has to leave that abusive God-bonking floral-wearing homophobe Petunia who is the Chris Brown to his Riri
…CHILD sHE ain’t your DESTINY, gurl get outta there, you don’t need sHim in your life!

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!! OMG, Bradley’s spa treatment: Zebra-girl creamsicles her brother !!


I love that Zebra-girl is giving her amicable toddler-tot brother a home-style spa treatment.
“This treatment is a carpeted full-body baby-soft scrub with essential oils of hibiscus and Desitin…it will leave you baby soft and rejuvinated”…she is definitely explaining that as she rubs it on.
The mom is totally not even letting Zebra-girl explain that she’s protecting him from the harsh rays of the sun, or -like- maybe he has diaper rash all over his face…and arms…and legs, you don’t know, you were downstairs watching Coronation Street, duuuur !
…and when mom says “you’re not supposed to do that are you?” Zebra-girl don’t even care anyway, she just splurges some more out, right in front of her mom face.
[via laughingsquid]

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!! OMG, how REXciting: ‘Pure Breeds – The Cornish Rex’ !!

If you want a cat that has fierce skinny catwalk readiness, will punch other cats without a doubt and is that cat at the party that will be up on the bar tongue-lapping drinks and dancing with Miley, then the Cornish Rex is totes for you by-the-way.
In episode 2 of Graydon Sheppard’s ‘Pure Breeds’ you are getting all of the above, plus the sexcapade origins of this high-fashion cat-cessory du jour.
Nowness nabbed a rexclusive Q&A with Sheppard, where he discusses┬áthe issues around a cat-centric basement rave scene, getting scratched by her and ‘deluxe’ dog gorging.

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!! OMG, racc-ing up: masked looter takes a DOUBLE FIST-FUL !!


I love the cats in this video when the raccoon arrives, they’re all like judging him because he’s all dirty and ragedy-ass, staring in disbelief as he pillages their processed vegan kitty fodder. Only when he starts to wash his scabby hands in their FAT-FREE REHYDRATED GLACIAL SPRING WATER do they step in to protest their disgust; GreySeal has had enough of this unruly shit, and is appalled at his nasty table manners.
I recognize that double-handful scamper trick at ‘1.10’, I do that all the time at the Thai restaurant down the road, with those individually wrapped free apple candies; two handfuls and I’m out of there, even when they come out and shout at me I’m on my hind legs and bombing down the street with my free palette-cleansers, and then -of course- go skulking back when I realize their shouts weren’t out of protest but simply to inform me I’d forgotten to take my not-free meal with me…duu-uuuuur !
[via tastefullyoffensive, thanks Bear!]

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!! OMG, “her lovely lady dump…check it out”: Barbie Dream Dumpster !!

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I blooming knew that Barbie was a skank, I’ve always said it, those gross yellow-hey hair extensions, them Polymethyl methacrylate heels she squishes her toe-less feet into. Ever since those Bratz bitches came along she’s been getting worse, she’s gone from pink palatial suite to PINK’N’PURPLE PASTEL DUMP BOX !
She’s a dumpster diver, and a graffiti vandal, girl that dumpster ain’t your dumpster, it belongs to Pet Value, got it ? Don’t say we didn’t warn you when you get a load of kitty litter dumped on your fake weave early one Tuesday.
Please can they just go ahead and release Dumpster Diver Barbie, looking like Xtina in her “Dirty” video but with garbage scuba gear fashioned from bubble-wrap, and flippers made of cardboard boxes. You press her ass and she sings:

“What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that dump, I’m gonna make make make you love drunk off my dumpster-garbage-juice-that-settled-to-the-bottom-of-my-dream-trash-receptacle”

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[image source]

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