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!! OMG, dude, it’s DUD! Intel Owes You $15 If Your Computer 14 Years Ago Had a Pentium 4 Processor !!

15 years after the fact, Intel is paying out 15 dollars to any customer that can prove they were sold a Dell in 2000 or 2001 after a class action lawsuit that alleged the company made up performance benchmarks for its Pentium 4 processor was won.The company is also being forced to donate $4 million to charities focused on education as part of the ruling!
So, if you bought a Dell between Nov. 20, 2000, and Dec. 31, 2001 you’re entitled to 15 bones from Intel! I hope you kept the receipt so you can treat yourself to lunch at Sizzler. Or spend it like this dude would, and buy a giant bong:

[via slate]

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!! OMG, from the golden age: CUPHEAD Brings Some 1930’s Cartoon Glamour To Video Gaming !!

If you’re over the first-person shooters and you want some handdrawn beauty to your gaming experience, you may want to check out the upcoming CUPHEAD in ‘Don’t Deal With The Devil’
drawn entirely in the style of classic 1930’s animation. Check out the trailer below!

[via dailydot]

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!! OMG, your princess is in another castle — but I’m here! Super Mario gets sexy in new Mercedes Benz Ad !!

Screen Shot 2014-05-30 at 12.46.52 PM.png
If Mario lost the weight and quit his plumbing gig for a job in 80’s porn, then this is what he’d look like!
Check out the new Mercedes Benz ad which features a model-esque Mario, who’s Yoshi I’d like to Donkey Kong — if you catch my drift!

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!! OMG, the civil-rights battle of our time: Nintendo bans same-sex relationships in new life simulator ‘Tomodachi Life’ !!

When I was a kid, all the future-gays at my school carried around little Tamagotchis. It was basically a digital, pink egg on a tiny keychain with a little bird inside who’s shit you’d have to clean up and who whined all day… sounds pretty gay to me! Well, here in 2014, Nintendo decided to play dumb and say that in their new life-sim game ‘Tomodachi Life’ — that gays just don’t exist!
Their reasoning? They’re not trying to make a statement here:

“Nintendo never intended to make any form of social commentary with the launch of Tomodachi Life,” Nintendo of America Inc. said in a statement. “The relationship options in the game represent a playful alternate world rather than a real-life simulation. We hope that all of our fans will see that Tomodachi Life was intended to be a whimsical and quirky game, and that we were absolutely not trying to provide social commentary.”

Right! Social commentary… Tomodachi‘s slogan is “Your friends, your drama, your life.” — ERRRM how is there meant to be any DRAMA without the gays around? Please, inform me.
One player, Tye Marini, a gay 23-year-old Nintendo fan from Mesa, Arizona, is pissed about the exclusion of gays of his gaming experience, and launched a campaign last month urging Nintendo Co. and Nintendo America Inc. to add same-sex relationship options to their games in English.

The game was originally released in Japan last year and features a cast of Mii characters – Nintendo’s personalized avatars of real players – living on a virtual island. Gamers can do things like shop, visit an amusement park, play games, go on dates and encounter celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Shaquille O’Neal. “Tomodachi” means “friend” in Japanese

HOLD THE PHONE — so you can want to meet Christina Augilera , in person, and somehow NOT BE A GAY!? This is some weird Twilight Zone-esque shit that DOES NOT COMPUTE! Get it together, Nintendo!

“I want to be able to marry my real-life fiance’s Mii, but I can’t do that,” Marini said in a video posted online that attracted the attention of gaming blogs and online forums this week. “My only options are to marry some female Mii, to change the gender of either my Mii or my fiance’s Mii or to completely avoid marriage altogether and miss out on the exclusive content that comes with it.”

I know, baby. I know. Someday soon…
[via globeandmail]

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!! OMG, Bangkok Massage Parlours, Cocaine, & that TEMPTRESS Kylie: The many factors that made ‘Street Fighter: The Movie’ so terrible !!

Back when I was 10 years old, there was nothing better than lining up on a Friday night at the cimena for a movie based on one of your favourite video games! I suspect my discerning tastes at the time probably made an exception for the lack of quality, but some were definitely better than others…
There was one video game franchise movie in particular that was seen as a major letdown for game fans, and that was 1994’s Street Fighter: The Movie!
Director Stephen de Souza wrote a piece recently about some of the nightmarish vibes he faced while prepping for the film, along with some of the trouble (and plain bad luck) he faced with some the cast! According the AVClub:

The director had to deal not only with interference from Street Fighter‘s development studio, Capcom (which had never produced a movie before), but he also contended with rushed stunt schedules, a cancer-stricken Raul Julia, cast members who became addicted to Bangkok massage parlors, and a Jean-Claude Van Damme who was hooked on cocaine and having sex with Kylie Minogue.

Jean Claude is always good for a 6:30am booty call, cuz he’s still up from the night before usually… so with the hours they keep on set, I don’t blame Kylie for hittin’ it. I would have done the same.
Also, is CAPCOM planning on re-doing this mess yet? Because if so, I came across this picture and I think she might be good for the part of M.Bison:
[via the AVClub]

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