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!! OMG, D’oh! Homer to leave Marge for Lena Dunham in new episode of ‘The Simpsons’? !!

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Temporarily — but true! It looks as if Hannah from GIRLS will be the source of upset for Marge in an upcoming episode.

“In the premiere, it’s discovered after all the years Homer has narcolepsy and it’s an incredible strain on the marriage. Homer and Marge legally separate, and Homer falls in love with his pharmacist, who’s voiced by Lena Dunham. We’ll have cameos from the other women from Girls.”

Ohhhh, Homey!


!! OMG, first look: Here’s what NIGHTCRAWLER from the new ‘X-Men: Apocolypse’ will look like !!

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Here’s a shot of Kodi Smit-Mcphee, the newly cast version of Nightcrawler from “X-Men: Apocalypse” which hits theaters on May 27 next year. He reminds me of the version of the character from my old Sega Genesis game! Will you be checking it out?

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!! OMG, a sick sense of humour: Stephen Hawking jokes that in an alternate universe, ‘Zayn Is Still In One Direction’ !!

Stephen Hawking decided to make the fires of Hell rumble when he told an audience member that in an alternate Universe, that not only are female One Direction fans married to Zayn, BUT he’s also still IN 1D!

A questioner asked: “What do you think is the cosmological effect of Zayn leaving One Direction and consequently breaking the hearts of millions of teenage girls across the world?”

“Finally, a question about something important,” he said.

“My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics. Because one day there may well be proof of multiple universes.”

“It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another different universe.”

“And in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction.”

“This girl may like to know that in another possible universe, she and Zayn are happily married,” Hawking added.

Sassy betch! Hawking needs to realize the ripple effect of what saying something like this does to the world! Let’s talk the butterfly effect, because comments like this are taken very seriously by 1D fans! Check out Hawking manipulating millions of people with his lies, above!

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!! OMG, earth, wind, fire, smut, GO PLANET! New wrist device charges your devices while you JERK IT !!

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Don’t let the guilt of being stuck in bed all day with nothing to do but watch porn get to you! Put that time to good use. Create clean, sustainable, filthy energy by masterbating with The Wankband, a simple device that creates power for your devices by movement!

Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment. At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.

Check out the Wankband‘s incredibly informative video below! Pornhub is really turning it out with this whole “using Porn to save the planet” look they’re working recently… First they planted trees — now this!
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[via gizmodo]

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!! OMG, congratulations! Apple CEO Tim Cook comes out, considers his sexuality to be “one of God’s greatest gifts” !!

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In an editorial at Bloomberg Businessweek today, Apple CEO Tim Cook reveals he’s proud to be gay.

“So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.” Cook explains that “plenty” of Apple employees know he’s gay and “it doesn’t seem to make a difference in the way they treat me.”

Tim says he’s normally a private dude, but feels that it’s important to share with the world this type of information in order to inform and inspire others to feel okay.

“I don’t consider myself an activist, but I realize how much I’ve benefited from the sacrifice of others. So if hearing that the CEO of Apple is gay can help someone struggling to come to terms with who he or she is, or bring comfort to anyone who feels alone, or inspire people to insist on their equality, then it’s worth the trade-off with my own privacy.”

Wow! Inspiring! When you consider industries where sexuality is often left unspoken about, you never really think about the tech world! Big-ups and huge congrats to Tim for showing all the gay tech nerds out there that it’s okay (and even GREAT) if your hardware is built a little differently.

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!! OMG, teleport us to Mars! NASA begins building their own flying saucers !!

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NASA is working on their own FLYING SAUCERS! The saucer will eventually be used for landing large payloads on Mars.
Nasa had hoped to launch a test flight earlier this month, but was unable to do so because of poor weather conditions around its Kauai, Hawaii, where the trial was due to take place.

The trial will initially entail using a helium balloon to lift the saucer to about 120,000 feet, after which a rocket will be used to take it up into the stratosphere at four times the speed of sound.
Then the saucer’s decelerator and parachute will put through its paces.
The craft, or to give it its official name Low-Density Supersonic Decelerator (LDSD), looks like a cross between a flying saucer and an inflatable rubber ring.
Its task is to deliver vital equipment to missions such as that on Mars without plummeting to the surface too quickly and destroying the payload.
“Our goal is to get to an altitude and velocity which simulates the kind of environment one of our vehicles would encounter when it would fly in the Martian atmosphere,” said Ian Clark, a Nasa engineer.

Poor weather conditions in Hawaii always ruin everything, but we’re glad NASA sorted that shit out and we’ll actually get to watch flying saucers take the skies soon. I’ve got my tinfoil helmut ready and everything!

[via the telegraph]

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!! OMG, light speed blazin’ chronic through the galaxy: Here’s An Image Of NASA’s New Warp Drive Spaceship !!

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The Imperial Senate will not sit still!
Above is a first look at NASA‘s artist rendering of what their plan for the first faster-than-light space ship will look like. Hopefully that thing will be able to get us to Kepler 186f STAT so we can begin polluting that shit!

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