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!! OMG, What a Long Fifteen Minutes: Mary Jo Buttafuoco !!

Who knew that getting attacked by a hooker could be so great for your career? Mary Jo Buttafuoco– everyone’s favorite Long Island housewife/victim– is proving that a little gunshot to the face can be a silver bullet for success! Already a New York Times bestselling author with her classic memoir GETTING IT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL, Mary Jo is now poised to add reality TV star to her lengthy resume. All she needs to do next is marry into royalty and she’ll be as accomplished at the Real Housewives’ Mrs. The Countess LuAnn DeLesseps!
Publisher’s Marketplace reports:

Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s NYT bestseller, GETTING IT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL, optioned to Jonathan Eskenas at Dick Clark Productions, for development as a reality TV (Life After Buttafuoco) that will include Mary Jo, her fiance Stu and their “Brady Bunch” family of five children, by Sharlene Martin at Martin Literary Management (who will co-produce).

I’m reserving judgment on the series until I hear whether the Long Island Lolita herself is signing on. If they’re using The Brady Bunch as a template, maybe Amy can be the Alice?
(Publisher’s Marketplace via Doree Shafrir)

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!! OMG, he’s on to Grindr: Nick Cave !!

nick cave poster.jpg
Last week I went to the Indigo bookstore in Toronto to see rock star Nick Cave, he of The Bad Seeds and Grinderman, and get him to sign my copy of his new novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. But I also had another motive: I wanted let him know about a gay tribute night called HARD ON FOR LOVE that I threw in his honor two months ago (at which OMG Frank made his drag debut as Kylie Manogue).
The poster for the event was amazingly gay. Nick Cave isn’t so fey and so we really had to gay him up on the poster to attract the requisite amount of homos. Of course I made sure to tell him that when I gave him a copy. As you can see from the above photo, he was thoroughly touched. He then said, “We’ve always had a hard time courting a gay audience” and proceeded to tell me about a ‘cottaging’ app for the iPhone called Grindr (some of you may know it). Perhaps when Grinderman’s new album comes out next year, he can cross-promote the tour using Grindr, that way his gay fans won’t feel so lonesome anymore.
Check out the HARD ON FOR LOVE poster after the jump.
(Photo via For The Records)

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG Book Club: Managed Expectations !!

Since there hasn’t been a f*cking thing worth noting on the internet today, I went for a little stroll an hour ago and was struck by a certain AUTUMNAL breeze on the backs of my arms. Could these be the winds of change? Ugh, summer is ending, which also means that today is the final installment of Marisa Meltzer’s positively MAUPINIAN serial web novel, Managed Expectations, over at The Awl.
Managed Expectations follows the travails of one Nicole, a materialistic and self-absorbed, yerba mate-chugging quasi-hippie with a heart of gold in the wilds of Brooklyn. It is both an astute exploration in matters of the heart and a savage comedy of manners.
On weddings:

Reverend Winifred Dehner, a priestess and Reiki master from Pillars of HER Traditions, that goddess temple on Staten Island, stepped forward. “Sisters and Brothers,” Rev. Dehner began, “Miranda and Lawrence look forward to the day when the civil right of marriage will be extended to all citizens.” She went on to read from the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage and followed it up with quotes on the nature of love from Rumi and Dave Eggers.

On compatibility:

“We had a fight.” Jared looked down at his pint of Stella. “We were at this party for one of her square interior decorator friends and she kept trying to get me to dance with her to De La Soul. I had to tell her how much I hated positive rap.”

On breakups:

“It works, too. Remember that guy who I dumped because he said I wasn’t angry enough about the 2004 election?”
“The guy with the Lhaso Apso?”
“Now he’s on Twitter but it’s written in the voice of the dog.”
“Oh my God.”
“See? Totally over him. Works every time.”

I’m really sad it’s over, but if you haven’t been reading it all along you’re lucky because now you can read the whole thing in one sitting. I’m jealous!

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!! OMG Book Club: Also Crystal Was Into Witchcraft! !!

Anyone who has seen the classic film PORKY’S surely remembers a dancer by the name of Crystal Gellata, “a dancer from the movie Porky’s!” No? Okay, me neither, but whatever– Ms. Gellata has been to hell and back, and she’s decided to tell the world all about it in her self-published memoir Someone Please Love Me: A True Story of a Dancer from the Movie Porky’s. Based on the brief blurb on Amazon, it’s clear that this is a woman who makes Florrie Fisher look like Mrs. Garrett. Also this book is bound to be a total classic:

This book is about Crystal’s life. She feels her life is unbelievable. To this day, people do not believe her when she tells them about things that have happened to her. You name it, it has happened to her. She has had eight husbands in her life. All of them were monsters, except for the last one. Also, Crystal was into witchcraft. Crystal was a go-go dancer and quit when she was fifty years young. Since she was working in the bars she got mixed up with the mafia and a lot of bad men. There a things in her book that she has never told her bestfriends. But, now it is time for the world to know the life story of a dancer and how she survived it.

As a lover of literature and publishing professional, I know that self-pubbed books often completely rule in every way. You may think I’m being sarcastic but I don’t do sarcasm anymore; it causes too much confusion. So believe me when I say that Somebody Please Love Me will probably be my favorite book of the year. (Even though it came out in 2003. But I don’t think I read anything so great that year either.)
Order it here and make Crystal Gellata a very rich woman!
(And thank you to KYLIE for the hot tip.)

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!! OMG, how perfect: The Book for the Day !!

First of all – big apologies for the server issues. We are totally aware of them (believe us, it’s just as annoying to try to post as it is to try to read) and we’re doing everything we can to be running better than ever – it just takes a minute. So bear with us and we’ll be back to normal before you know it.
Now back to business:
Albert Maysles – one of the brothers who documented Big and Little Edie at their East Hampton bramble-pot in the film Grey Gardens – has two daughters who have put together a book about the ladies. The book, also titled GREY GARDENS, is compiled from letters, pictures, and transcriptions from the Maysles’ audio recordings of Big and Little Edie Beale. Rebekah and Sara, the authours, also lived like the Beales for a period while writing the book:

At one point in the editing process, Rebekah and Sara holed up in a house north east of East Hampton for three months, working non-stop and taking breaks only to feed themselves or walk to the store. “We actually lived in this house on the ocean in the middle of nowhere and we’re like these two crazy sisters,” Rebekah explains. “The house was supposedly haunted,” Sara says, adding, “But we had only one cat.”

You can read the full review on THE MOMENT and buy the book HERE.
Thanks Kevvers!

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