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!! OMG gossip: Lil Kim spoons up some goodness !!

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See if you can guess what Lil Kim is doing in this photo [starpulse]
Praise the heavens, Brad Pitt is smooth-faced again [dlisted]
The YMCA will soon be officially named “The Y” [towleroad]
Kylie Minogue does Out [pitnb]
Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes are back together trying to make it work [popeater]
Joan Rivers disses Lindsay Lohan on Twitter then gets Tweet-slapped by Sam Ronson [popbytes]
OMG Sylvester Stallone‘s arm is super, super scary [tabloid prodigy]
Despite his best efforts, Prince‘s new album is available on the Internet [socialite life]
Dita Von Teese pours Perrier on her boobs in new commercial for… yes, Perrier. [l.a. rag mag]
5 Things gay soldiers might love about same-sex showers [queerty]
Carrie Underwood is leaving for her honeymoon with HOT husband Mike Fisher [celeb smack]
Roman Polanski has eluded prison, again [evil beet]
Surprise! The cat does NOT want to be friends with the baby turtle [cityrag]
Cute tattooed Brazilian boy model jumping. In his underwear. That is all. [oh la la]
OMG Diesel’s gayest underwear yet [kenneth]

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!! OMG, The Verdict is In: Whoopi Clears Mel Gibson of Racism Charges !!


It used to be that white people like me had an easy out from all accusations of racism. Just make one black friend and you’re home free no matter what horrible and seemingly-bigoted acts you might perpetrate against any minority.
“Oh, I own an entire plantation of slaves? Whatever! You think I’m racist because I just told Rosa Parks to get to the back of the bus? Who cares! Because guess what, I have a black friend!”
Most whites in my social circle kept around at least one black pal for this express purpose. (True story: my token black friend was the Pine-Sol Lady!!!)
While the Black Friend Defense has been waning in its effectiveness in recent years a special loophole has just been introduced to benefit rich white celebrities: the Whoopi Goldberg Defense. By decree of Ms. Goldberg herself, it is impossible for anyone she’s personally friends with to be racist!
As Whoopi informed us on The View earlier today, Mel Gibson may have told his erstwhile girlfriend that it was her fault if she got raped by a pack of you-know-whats*, but it’s okay because as a fellow famous person, Mr. Gibson has met Whoopi, and is therefore totally in the clear.
No racism to see here, folks! Just go about your business!
*[The word only rappers can say]

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!! OMG, I Reluctantly Disapprove: Pentagon considering separate gay showers !!

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Someone alert Dink Flamingo! The U.S. military has revealed that it’s seriously considering separate barracks and showers for gay soldiers, if and when they actually decide to let them in.
I know this is horrible discrimination and the equivalent of segregation, but for the first time in my life I’m actually considering joining the army! I hear it pays better than OMG Blog (no offense, Frank!) and, uh, those showers actually sound like they could be, you know, a lot of fun. Just call me Private Bmad
Seriously, this is wrong and bad! Separate but equal is no kind of equality at all!
(Okay I have to go masturbate now.)
[Via Joe.My.God]

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!! OMG, plug your ears: Jewel sings ‘Foolish Games’ !!


Don’t ask me why I was watching Jewel‘s really terrible 1998 SNL performance of “Foolish Games,” but I was, and I felt the need to inflict it on all of you.
Make sure you make it to the truly agonizing ad lib part that begins around 2:42.
To be fair, everyone sounds a little worse than usual on SNL, but wow. If this was American Idol, I’m not sure even Paula could be nice.

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