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!! OMG, how real: Real Housewife Danielle Staub debuts her single, Real Close !!


Mrs. The Countess Luann de Lesseps is tearing out her wig — because Danielle Staub of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has become the third (and craziest!) housewive to embark on a musical career, and she performed her first song, titled Real Close on Andy Cohen‘s show last night, and although I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s good or anything, it’s certainly the first housewife song that’s not a complete f*cking joke.
Of course, because I like complete f*cking jokes, I’m still partisan to Mrs. The Countess’s dancefloor insta-klassic, Money Can’t Buy You Class.
She also hinted to Cohen that she might be strictly lickly if you know what I mean, but honestly who f*cking cares? Now that Vanessa Carlton’s out of the closet I think we can hang up the towel for gay visibility and call it a day. We don’t need another housewife!
(And hey, not to worry– I’m working on getting a better-quality video!)

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!! OMG, Call a Thpade a Thpade: Comically gay person rails against homosexuality !!


Hint to all evangelical Christian homophobes. If you want people to take you seriously in your anti-gay rants, you might want to lose the frosted tips, the eyeliner, and the Fire Island-In-Winter ensemble.
If you want more, Mary Contrary shares the story of how he turned straight— including the inspiring tale of his str8 wedding night– after the jump!
[Via The Awl]

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!! OMG, He’s For Gay Marriage (sorta): Mike Huckabee !!

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Evangelical once and future Republican presidential candidate/fattie Mike Huckabee is profiled this week in liberal fag publication The New Yorker and while the reporter– OMG lezzie krush object Ariel Levy– reminds us that he “has called homosexuality ‘sinful and unnatural’ and is fond of amusing audiences with the witticism “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” he did extend an olive branch to the Adam/Steve community when it comes to the all-important topic of two-peen marriage.
Turns out he’s not against it! Or at least– he writes in an e-mail to Levy– not if the conditions are just right:

“The only thing worse than a torrid affair with sweet, sweet Nancy [Pelosi] would be a torrid affair with Helen Thomas. If those were my only options, I’d probably be FOR same-sex marriage!”

LOLOLOL! Someone give this man his own talk show! Oh, wait…
[The New Yorker via Wonkette]

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!! OMG, Hercules and Love Affair announce summer tour dates !!

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Disco pop inferno Hercules and Love Affair have announced a summer tour of North America that will kick off in Toronto on July 26. The band has yet to reveal further details of the tour, but judging from the chesty photo that Hercules main man Andy Butler recently posted on his blog (above), it’s probably safe to assume that he will give in to an overwhelming desire to completely remove his shirt, helicopter it around the stage, and then encourage all the men in the audience to follow suit.
Can’t wait! Full list of tour dates after the jump!

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!! OMG, He’ll Play Gay (Again and Again): James Franco !!

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James Franco: if he’s not actually gay, he may be America’s hottest fag hag! Whether he’s playing Harvey Milk’s naked boyfriend in Milk, hanging like two nuts in a sac with drag performance artist Kalup Linzy or making erotic video art about Kirk and Spock doing a modified Vulcan mind-meld with their dick and butt, Dimples Franco doesn’t care who thinks he’s a big homo. He’s not but who cares!
He tells The Independent:

The worst downside, and I don’t consider this a downside, the worst thing that anybody could say is that I was gay and if somebody said that I guess they would be wrong, but I also wouldn’t care and as far as being typecast, that’s not the case, nonetheless I would be happy to play 100 gay roles as long as they were always good parts.

James, I have a gay role for you! Okay, so you come over to my apartment– the door’ll be unlocked– and I’ll be…
Oh, just see my ad on Craig’s List!
[Via Towleroad]

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