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!! OMG, It’s Unconstitutional: The Defense of Marriage Act !!

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Good news: the Defense of Marriage Act was ruled unconstitutional by a Boston judge yesterday!
You might remember DOMA as the nonsenisal Clinton-era law that allows the federal government to ignore double-weiner marriages performed by states in which it’s legal. Not so fast, bitches! says U.S. District Judge Joseph Tauro:

“The federal government, by enacting and enforcing DOMA, plainly encroaches upon the firmly entrenched province of the state, and in doing so, offends the Tenth Amendment. For that reason, the statute is invalid,” Tauro wrote in a ruling in a lawsuit filed by Attorney General Martha Coakley.

Ruling in a separate case filed by Gays & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, Tauro found that DOMA violates the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution.

Yayyyy! So does this mean all you gay husbands out there can now start collecting your federal pensions? Um, no. Does it mean that DOMA is done for? Not that either– so put those engagement rings away.
What it means is that the whole thing’s going to be in appeals for the next billion years. But, you know, yay anyway! Thanks Judge Tauro!
[Associated Press]

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!! OMG, Which Is It: Elena Kagan on the case of Jacob vs. Edward !!


In a boxers-or-briefs moment for our times, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan demurred on the all important Team Jacob or Team Edward question asked in her confirmation hearing by Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D – Minn).
Obvs Elena was like, “Wait, where’s the lesbo choice?!”
Just kidding, she’s a serious person and can we just stop with this pointless confirmation shit!?
[Via The Awl]

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!! OMG, Thanks For The Reminder: Log Cabin Republicans as disgusting as ever !!

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The Log Cabin Republicans gave away these special Drill Baby Drill condoms at Twin Cities Pride, citing “the spirit of pride” as their inspiration:

“This one was such a no-brainer. With all the national attention with BP and the Gulf of Mexico and the suspension of any deep-water drilling, and Sarah Palin saying those words, it was like the planets coming into conjunction. What a great way to be in the spirit of pride.”

Well hardy har har! Only one thing– if they’re condoms for gay Republicans, shouldn’t they say EXTRA SMALL somewhere?
[Via Joe. My. God.]

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!! OMG, He’s For Gay Marriage (sorta): Mike Huckabee !!

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Evangelical once and future Republican presidential candidate/fattie Mike Huckabee is profiled this week in liberal fag publication The New Yorker and while the reporter– OMG lezzie krush object Ariel Levy– reminds us that he “has called homosexuality ‘sinful and unnatural’ and is fond of amusing audiences with the witticism “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” he did extend an olive branch to the Adam/Steve community when it comes to the all-important topic of two-peen marriage.
Turns out he’s not against it! Or at least– he writes in an e-mail to Levy– not if the conditions are just right:

“The only thing worse than a torrid affair with sweet, sweet Nancy [Pelosi] would be a torrid affair with Helen Thomas. If those were my only options, I’d probably be FOR same-sex marriage!”

LOLOLOL! Someone give this man his own talk show! Oh, wait…
[The New Yorker via Wonkette]

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