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!! OMG, Breaking: Gay Marriage Coming to NY? !!


Hey, it’s happening: same-sex marriage is being debated on the floor of the New York State Senate as we speak. I’m told it has a very good chance of passing, which would make New York one of just a few ( states to have passed gay marriage through the legislature. Yay! You can watch the deliberation here, at the bottom of the page. Also, GUESS WHAT? Meredith “Don’t Call Me Baxter-Birney” Baxter is a lesbian now!
UPDATE: Watch the above clip of New York’s absolute sexiest lawmaker, hot legislative daddy Senator Eric T. Schneiderman, speaking movingly today in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage. Senator Schneiderman, how about marrying me?

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!! OMG, The Next Best Thing: The “Levi Johnston” Porno !!

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There’s a silver lining to every moose turd! The Palins and their extended clan of horny and fertile Alaskans may be ruining America, but they’ve certainly proved to be an endless source of JO material for Democrats and Republo’s alike! Although erstwhile babbydaddy Levi Johnston’s recent Playgirl pictures might have disappointed those hoping for a glimpse of his Great Northern Palin-maker, Gawker is reporting that Jet Set is set to start shooting a highly peeny gay porn based on the life of Mr. Johnston on this very weekend! The movie will naturally be titled Getting Levi’s Johnson.
Set to star in the future cinematic classic is a hunky and (presumably) endowed Levi-lookalike known only as Casey, pictured above. The resemblance is… resemblancey!

(Gawker)

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!! OMG, Put a Ring on It: NY Legislature to Vote On Gay Marriage Tonight !!

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BREAKING NEWS!The New York Daily News, along with several little birdies in the NY Senate, are reporting that same-sex marriage might be put to a vote in the EMPIRE STATE tonight. Sen. Ruben Diaz, Sr.– who is somehow both a total fag hag and an staunch opponent of gay rights– is currently holed up in his office prayin’ on it, says the NYDN’s Liz Benjamin:

“I don’t know why it has to be done in special session. I don’t know why it has to be today. Is it going to be done? I believe so,” Diaz Sr. told me rather glumly during a brief telephone interview just now.

“Of course I’m going to vote ‘no’ – that’s my position…I will hold all my comments for the floor if the issue comes to the floor. You will hear me say everything I have to say about it. I have a strong feeling that it is (coming to the floor). I’m in my office. I’m calling around. I’m praying.”

“…I don’t know anything anymore,” Diaz Sr. added. “I don’t know what’s going on anymore. People give you word and then they go back on their word. There is no gentleman’s agreement anymore. Me, I give you my word and I don’t go back on it. Not anymore.”

Here’s hoping it goes through… and that big lights will inspire someone to propose to me! (Preferably someone totes rich.)

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!! OMG, I’m Outraged: No Charlie Brown Christmas tonight! !!


You heard right: another shot has been fired in the ongoing WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS. First the Gap was not suitably yule-y enough in their television ads, and now The Charlie Brown Christmas Special will NOT be airing tonight as previously scheduled. WHY? Because President Obama is giving some dumb speech! And I have a feeling it will not be about the impending Rapture or Christ’s Holy Wrath. In other words: not very CHRISTMASY!
According to my sources at the White House, the beloved Charles Schulz Christmas classic will instead air only on Kenyan/Muslim television. Start your letter writing campaign… NOW!
While you’re scribbling, you’ll just have to content yourself with watching the above clip one thousand times, just like I’ve spent all morning doing. (For those wondering, I dance just like the girl in the purple dress.) HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

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!! OMG, how thought-provoking: Mrs. Betty Bowers !!


In case anyone has yet to figure out why it’s a bad idea to refer matters of civil rights to a popular vote (as recently illustrated by the gay marriage referendums in California and Maine, which history will surely show to be yet two more embarrassing moments for the U.S.), Mrs. Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian, is here to clear it all up for you and explain why it’s not just the gays who need to worry about the will of the “people.”

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