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!! OMG, how retarded: Boris Johnson !!

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Conservative candidate Boris Johnson has won the mayoral election in London, UK (I blame Madonna), but don’t worry, he is a purebred “compassionate conservative” in the vein of George W. Bush. Just look at the conciliatory tone he takes when speaking about black people:

He caused deep offense after labeling members of the Commonwealth “piccaninnies,” a derogatory term for black people; referred to Africans as having “watermelon smiles”; and likened his party’s internal conflicts “to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.”

And the following truly original observation about gay marriage shows his depth as a thinker:

Johnson’s scorn has also been directed at gay marriage, which became legal in Britain in 2005. In his book “Friends, Voters, Countrymen,” he said that if homosexuals could marry, then why not “three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.”

Doesn’t it all just make you want to move to London and buy one of Johnson’s shitty books? I really do blame Madonna.

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