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!! OMG, WATCH: Alaska Thunderfuck shows us how to get Gaga’s new “I’m just a rock chick real girl” look in a few easy steps !!

The bottom-tit reveal is essential for this look, and so are the self-made coochi-cutters and the elastic for that greasy pony-tail (according to Alaska!) Check out her step-by-step above on how to get JOANNED!

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!! OMG, “F*ck It! I quit!” KTVA reporter quits on-air, reveals herself as owner of Alaska Cannabis Club !!

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Are we baked, or did this really just happen?!
KTVA reporter Charlo GREENE of Alaska is our new hero today after she revealed herself ON-AIR to be the owner of The Alaska Cannabis Club while delivering the news about, well… The Alaska Cannabis Club.
Charlo ended her segment on the issue surrounding legalization in Alaska by stating:

“And as for this job, well, not that I have a choice. But, f*ck it, I quit.”

Charlo is focusing her time on fighting the good fight rather than reporting on kittens being rescued from trees and Palin family ATV party brawls.
I suppose that flabbergasted fail of a poker face on the reporter following Charlo‘s admission is probably in relation to the fact that she no longer has a good hook-up at work to score that good kush kush. How DEVASTATING!

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!! OMG, 666 from the 907: Satanic teenage thrill-killer from North Pole claims to have murdered just under 100 ‘bad people’ in past 6 years !!

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Eeeesh! 19-year-old Miranda Barbour of Pennsylvania just admitted to the killing of a man she located in a sex ad on Craigslist — under her murderous alter-ego Super Miranda! During an interview with The Daily Item, she also claimed she has killed just under around 100 ‘bad people’ from Alaska to North Carolina in the last 6 years as part of her involvement in joining a Satanic cult when she was only 13. How DEXTER of her! (They start so young nowadays!)
Anyhow — we can probably all rest easy tonight because even though Miranda‘s body’s saying “LET’S GO”, her heart is saying “NO”. She told investigators that she doesn’t want to get out of jail and that she would kill again if she were released, so we’re thinking they’re probably gonna throw away the key on this one.
This is all your fault, Alaska! Your weird, remote nether-regions always seem to find these lost souls and place them right into Satan’s warm lap! Example #1: Sarah Palin!

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