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!! OMG, Berlin grocery store ALDI got its second delivery of cocaine yesterday, this time worth €15 million !!

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The Lindsay Lohan of Germany is fucking AUFGEREGT again today, as her stash got intercepted at the ALDI grocery store UHGAIN while making its way through Berlin!

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that a whopping 386kg – about €15 million worth – of cocaine ended up in the shops from Colombia, described as the “biggest single” coke find ever in the country.

Police spokesman Stefan Redlich said: “Apparently there was a logistical mistake somewhere along the line”. No shit.

It’s not the first time Aldi’s been the unintended destination for the nose sherbet, with about €6 million worth found in banana crates last year. Maybe the traffickers should try a different tactic next time…

What the hell are all the DJs in Berlin going to do now?! They’re not staying up from Saturday til Monday on just Club Mate! This is a catastrophe!

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!! OMG, WATCH: Topless woman in St. Petersberg bum-rushes manger, steals the baybay Jeebus! !!

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NOO! This isn’t footage from my friend’s camera-phone of me, drunk outside of my hometown local mall last night, — it’s some radical activist FEMA chick, showing those uptight St. Petersburg bitches that she will swoop in and SNATCH that behbeh Jesus like pterodactyl! Check it out below.

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!! OMG, gossip: Wherein Anderson Cooper tells Kelly Ripa he’d like to have sex with her husband !!

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That makes all of us… [queerty]
Amy Adams was left feeling confused and frustrated after The Today Show kicked her off for not talking about the Sony hack. Awwe! [celebitchy]
Robbie Rogers wants Chris Pratt to play him in a sitcom based on his life [towleroad]
Why not have a large helping of some Prince Harry bulge-ness on this fine Friday?! [dlisted]
…speaking of bulges: Presenting a giant bronze statue in honour of Christiano Ronaldo‘s bulge [ohlala]
Parks & Recreation says goodbye: The trailer for the final season is here [popbytes]
James Franco and Seth Rogan celebrate the release of The Interview via Instagram [socialite life]
A French magazine is ordered to pay €20K after outing gay Neo-Nazi leader known for anti-gay values [joemygod]
Envy has a face and it’s this photo w/ Nick Jonas [kenneth]
The Top 10 video games that won in 2014 [unrealitymag]
Dora better WERK! Bitch is packin! [boy culture]
The worst celebrity fashion trends of 2014 [celeb cafe]

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!! OMG, gossip: Elton John and David Furnish make it official !!

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Congrats, you two lovebirds! [joemygod]
…and so does Lance Bass [towleroad
Jesse Ferguson responds to actor who called his character ‘the gay equivalent of black face’ [queerty]
Ryan Atwood from The OC really wants you to know that he’s great in bed [socialite life]
Amy Pascal wants Idris Elba to be the next James Bond [dlisted]
Here’s more from that Calvin Harris Emporio Armani shoot [ohlala]
Kim Kartrashian think Amish is spelled ‘omish’ [celebitchy]
Christina Hendricks and enormous cha-chas have been cast in Showtime‘s ‘Roadies’ [popbytes]
Madonna releases first single ‘Rebel Heart’ off new album [boy culture]
2 New York City cops executed in apparent revenge attack [kenneth]
Here’s the concept art for NYC’s underground park that’s being built [unrealitymag]
The Top 10 Colbert Report guests [celeb cafe]

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!! OMG, Balearic bummer! Ibiza ravers are being sold BATH SALTS !!

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The Vengaboys better seriously check who they let sell to them on their Vengabus when they go to Ibiza this summer — because there has been a huge rise in ravers on club island being sold the BATH SALTS!
Yes, Bath Salts, AKA “Florida’s favourite drug” which gives you the munchies for the side of someone’s face flesh before you rip it off with your bare teeth whilst standing on the side of the highway someplace with no memory of doing any of it afterward.

Various Spanish and English news reports say that the chemical is causing severe health problems among users on the White Isle.
A nurse based in San Antonio told Diario De Ibiza that patients had to be restrained in their beds once admitted to hospital after taking the drug. She also said that it took up to eight police officers to hold down one man, who also bit one officer’s hand.
Too much MDPV can induce violent behaviour, paranoia and panic attacks. In other words, it can make you go pretty crazy, which is what seems to have been happening to some ravers who have taken it in Ibiza over the last week or so.

This is some proper DEAD ISLAND for Xbox type shit. If you’re headed to the Balearics, make sure you know what you’re buying before you go ballistic!
[via mixmag]

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