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!! OMG, hitting rock bottom: Gay-for-pay adult gay film star Johnny Rapid arrested for beating his girlfriend outside of a bowling alley !!

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Over 80-time power bottom, gay-4-pay adult film star, Johnny Rapid, was arrested this week after he choked his girlfriend and knocked her to the ground outside of a Georgia bowling alley after she refused to coax a 14 year old Asian female they met there to join them for sex. (WOWZA. There was just wayyy too much class in that sentence to handle!)
The couple then left the bowling alley together but began arguing in the car. Rapid stopped the car and started hitting his girlfriend again. Once home, Rapid asked his mother for a gun (UM, WUT!?) before leaving the house as his girlfriend called the cops on him.
Johnny’s girlfriend had red marks on her lips, swollen eyes, broken fingernail, blood on her right ear lobe where her earring had been torn out. She also suffered pain from a lump found behind her right ear. She attempted to retract her statement and asked the officer to forget everything because she ‘made them up’, leading them to believe that Rapid called and threatened her. Johnny was arrested charged with assault based on his girlfriend’s visible injuries.
He recently made headlines with MEN.com when he released a video offering Justin Bieber $2 Million dollars in exchange for having sex with him on film. Unfortunately, God has different plans for Johnny, and it looks as if a bunch of Georgia inmates have had their prayers answered… Don’t drop the soap!
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!! OMG, who’s got $30,000 for bail?: I present to you the hottest grave robber there ever was !!

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I’m not even gonna post the picture of the other guy, because… well, this isn’t about him. This is about 29 year old David Ryan from Kendall County, who was arrested this week at Rosehill Cemetery in Chicago for stealing brass vases from the graves, ya’ll!
David was caught by police at the cemetery with a bunch of tools on his person (!), and he and his friend (who’s not as blessed in the hot department), are both linked to a series of other grave robbings in their county. David also didn’t come easy. He resisted arrest and tried to fight the cops in the cemetery during a lighting storm (I made that last part up).
Congrats David! You’ve won this minute’s award for HOTTEST GRAVE ROBBER OUT THERE! Now, where’s $30,000 when you need it?
[via kenneth & chicagotribune]

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