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!! OMG, part of your world: Prophet drowns during cleansing ceremony, family blame mermaids !!

Oh, this is some proper “Undah Da Sea” type shit!
A “self-styled prophet”, Simbarashe Kamupondera, drowned in the Ruwa River on Wednesday when he was swept away by a strong current during a cleansing ceremony in Epworth, Simbabwe! However, the family believes Simbarashe is still alive, and are claiming he was abducted by mermaids (known as Njuzu).

“Simbarashe came to stay with us a month ago. He has been telling us that he had a spirit of a mermaid. He also said that a prophet had prayed for a cloth that he gave him to always tie when getting into the waters. Yesterday he bought a new cloth after he had written his name on the old one saying that he could no longer use it. He tied it today before he got into the water,” Magma Mutingwende, Simbarashe’s sister-in-law said.
We believe that he was taken by a mermaid and we are not going to mourn him because we know that he is coming back,” Magma added.

GURRRL! I know da NILE runs deep, but get a GRIP! Somehow I don’t think it was Ariel this time. This all sounds a bit FISHY!
When a news crew arrived on the scene, Magma was already all packed up and getting ready to leave the river banks with her two friends who are also congregants of the small apostolic sect because it “was getting dark”.

“We have not told his wife as yet and we know that he is coming back.” Magma added.

…hopefully she catches this then. RIP Simbarashe!
[via nehandaradio]

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!! OMG, shop ’til you drop: Man commits suicide in mall after girlfriend won’t stop shoe shopping !!

Let this be a cautionary tale: Don’t date materialistic bitches!
38-year-old Tao Hsiao was out Christmas shopping at the Golden Eagle International Shopping Center in Xuzhou, China this week when he finally lost it over his girlfriend’s amount of Christmas shoe shopping (for herself of course), and leaped 7 stories to his death inside the mall. How awful! According to Gawker:

“He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime and it was pointless buying any more,” an eyewitness was quoted as saying. “She started shouting at him accusing him of being a skinflint and of spoiling Christmas, it was a really heated argument.”

Okay — ladies in China really need to tone it with their shopping. Just last month another chick lost her shit at her hubby at the Guangzhou Auto Show, and it ’twas not cute!

“This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people,” the spokesman said.

…annnd the spokesman for the mall threw a “BUT” in the statement. Keepin’ it classay.

[[ OMG, there’s more: JUMP IN to read the rest ]]

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!! OMG, to the batmobile: San Francisco to be transformed into Gotham City to fulfill dying 5 year old’s wish to be Batman !!

Okay, so this one is really thawing out our frozen heart! Five-year-old Miles has been battling life-threatening leukaemia in San Francisco, though it’s always been his dream, instead, to be battling crime and fighting for the better good AS BATBOY!
Well, The Make-A-Wish Foundation is about to make it happen! Thousands of volunteers have signed up to help make Miles’ dreams come true by transforming San Francisco into Gotham City. RAD!! From TDM:

Along with a grownup Batman sidekick, Miles will get a call from the police chief and jump into his Batmobile to defend the city against some of his fiercest foes, including the Riddler and Penguin.
His first task: rescue a damsel in distress who is tied up across the Hyde Street cable car tracks in Nob Hill.
Then he will help to capture The Riddler as he tries to rob a vault downtown, before refueling at the Burger Bar in San Francisco, according to the Make-A-Wish itinerary.
While at Burger Bar, he will get a call on his batphone to go to the window. He will look down and see a huge group of volunteers screaming for Batman’s help.
That’s because the Penguin will be kidnapping a famous Gotham City mascot – Lou Seal.
Batman and Batkid will race to AT&T park to apprehend the villain and free Lou Seal, the San Francisco Giants mascot since 1996.
After catching the Penguin, Batkid will make his final stop at City Hall, where the Mayor and the Police Chief of Gotham City will thank him and give him the key to the city.

This is incredible! If we were anywhere near the San Francisco area we would be front-row-center helping make Miles’ BATMAN world come true! If you wanna be a part of it and you ARE in SF, then head over to Mile’s Make-A-Wish page for more info. (Also, if Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford really wants to gain extra points, he should step forward and offer his time playing the role he was BORN to play! THE PENGUIN!)
[thanks J!]
[via TDM]

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!! OMG, RIP: Hiroshi Yamauchi, the man who built Nintendo, dies aged 85 !!

The man who helped fill my childhood with countless hours of popcorn-filled sleepovers and evening trips to the video store, has passed away!
Hiroshi Yamauchi was Nintendo’s third president, who many say was the most important! When he took over the company from grandfather in 1949:

“the Japanese company specialized in the manufacture of playing cards for its home market — first Japanese-style cards and then, under Yamauchi’s guidance, Western-style ones too. By the time he handed over control to Satoru Iwata 53 years later, he’d overseen the creation of all Nintendo’s game consoles up to the GameCube and become one of Japan’s richest men — in other words, not a bad innings for a man who passed away today at the ripe old age of 85.”

Hiroshi was also responsible for Super Mario Bros 2, which taught us all — that like Princess Peach if you just lift up your skirt, you can fly through life, skipping any of the actual hard work. A valuable lesson! RIP Horoshi!
[via engadget]
[image via rudigitized]

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